Rob-Rivera.com

A Guide to Recognizing Your Call Girls in Panama

You’re a tourist in a foreign country, have a couple hundred bucks in your pocket and you’re feeling lonely. What do you do? One of the benefits tourism services don’t tell you when planning your trip to Panama is that underneath the glossy sheen of blooming commerce, beautiful beaches and outstanding vacationing experiences lies a world of excess and vice that solidifies this little gem of America as the go-to place for business with pleasure, no matter what you’re looking for. As it is, you can find that the beach bum living is but a heartbeat away. However, other lifestyles are just as available to the open-minded tourist if he so much as looks around a little.

The sex industry is one that is often shunned by the strong Christian-Catholic tendencies of our Latin-American societies. With Panama, though, one can expect to enter a twilight zone of morality, a fog made of ambiguity that lets anyone with a pulse and half a brain get opportunities that he won’t find anywhere else in the world, no matter what he is doing. In regards to sex, the options are somewhat mesmerizing, often ridiculous at how cinematic they can be and overall a great experience for the thrill seeker.

Don’t be afraid to visit the many “Gentlemen Clubs” that are open 24/7 all over the capital (going further into the interior, these places are virtually non-existent, with the possible exception of Chiriqui), places where you will be able to drink the finest liquors of the world and have a look-see at some of the most beautiful women in the region. Depending on the club you go to, you will notice different rates for drinks. The cardinal rule is to measure the prices by asking how much the pint of beer is: the most expensive brew should be around the $8 range, though in some areas 4 people can drink off a $6 pitcher of beer in a healthy manner. Now, no matter what side of the strip club spectrum you’re on, there are certain unwritten guidelines that all these establishments share and you should know:

1. You can’t touch, so don’t be fresh: I know that they’re overly flirty and you already bought her a drink but she’s not a whore, jackass. At least one that isn’t professional about it. Feel (not literally) the girl out to see if she likes you, and try a lap dance or two to get on her good graces. If you do, then we move on to guideline #2.
2. The lower end places have rooms in the building where, in a lot of cases, the girls live in. It’s part of the business owner’s way of reducing costs: If you house them and feed them, there’s no need to pay them more than you should. The girls are instructed to take their clients up to the rooms if they want some alone time, and the fees can go anywhere from $15 for 15 minutes up to $200 for 2 hours. And that’s not even taking into account the option of taking them back to your hotel room…
3. No matter where you are, if you want to take your girl back to the hotel you’re going to have to pay the house for the time you’ll be taking her away from the establishment, where she could be making money for the business. This is usually the case for the swankier joints, and it’s one of the reasons as to why the more beautiful strippers cost so much to be with: by the time you’re ready to take her to your room, you’ve already spent a couple of hundred bucks between drinks for you, drinks for her and all the lap dances in between. After paying the take-out fee (as stated earlier, between $200-250), you’ll have to negotiate with the girl in regards to the specifics of the business transaction as in time spent, stuff you want to do, etc.

As it is with everything, a tell-tale of what you’re getting is the professionalism of the merchant. Since in this instance the product is sex, you kind of expect the girls to be professional about their craft and in the higher-end strip clubs you will find such a service. Of course, you’re not buying a washer/dryer here; the girls have made the skill of wrapping men around their fingers a bona fide art, and it’s easy to get caught up in the hoopla. A true professional, in my opinion, knows her limits. Because of this, another option that any tourist in search for sexual deviance and adventure should consider is the call-girl world… with the popularity of the internet, there are several “companies” that have established an online presence as their “store front” and, dropping the stale convenience store hyperbole, are even safer than the gentlemen clubs are. Of course, the prices reflect that extra care, but if you think about it, it’s somewhat necessary: If I was a digital pimp and started an escort business, I’d make sure that my customer gets what he pays for after I make sure he’s not some pervert whore killer. Places like El Complaciente and, most notably, My Panama Escorts have upped the ante of this whole “escort” business, with nifty websites to boot. For example, walking into the MPE site makes me wonder if I waltzed into a softcore porn site, an adult toy store or a business site with a strangely-attractive header image. Also, I like the color red.

Sex is a hot button to push in Panama, as the law has made it an intentionally ambiguous venture into what’s legal and what’s not, enough for the industry to boom into what it is now: one of the top sex tourism destinations in the regions, almost as high on the list as with the mainstream tourist destinations. The places to go are not generally hidden from plain sight, but knowing how the game is played takes a keen eye and some prying around. Whatever you do, though, DO NOT pick up any hooker off the street… unless you want a VD adventure for the ages.

Check Out These Related Posts!

The Panama Tourist Guide:
Starting today I've included a new category in the site: the Panama Tourist Guide. That'll make it a little easier for folks looking for information about Panama to find it a little easier without having my random and meaningless thoughts raining on your parade. I'll be in the process of...

Panamanians and Spouses for Hire (Maridos de Alquiler):
The concept of leasing handymen and maids to people’s houses and market the business as “rent-a-spouses” is one that could’ve only been made up in a Latin-American country. Though the honors don’t go to Panama for coming up with such an awesome concept, one needs not go too far to...

Lunches with Marco:
Hi! It feels good to be back. I hope you had very fun and heartfelt holidays; with this post, I begin what I will mockingly refer to "season 2" of this operatic absurdity I have the nerve to call a life. Thank you for reading, new readers and old... I'll...

Rob Rivera’s Website for 2009:
Hello, boys and girls. So, it would seem that both me and the cats at Porto Diao took an improvised sabbatical of sorts during the month of January. We went out, lived, loved, got into great adventures, got drunk, got high, got depressed, got delirious, people came and went, some...