Not as far but just as interesting as El Valle, Chicá in the Campana region of the interior is a great way to escape the city whether you’re in the mood to relax, do something fun or live out an RPG campaign. I went with some friends in order to congregate in the spirit of a grandiose camping adventure and what I got was a very welcome change of pace from the diatribe of the city.

Being the improvisational kind of cat, a good look at the trunk of my car carries everything one would possibly need for a wilderness adventure in Panama, no matter what your handicap setting is. Take notes, kids:

• A Tent: common sense would tell you that when you go out camping, a good idea would be to take one of these. There are Panamanian companies that make durable tents for 2-4 people as cheap as $10, available in all hardware stores in the city (my recommendations would be the Do It Center or a Novey if you’re on the fence about where to go). If you do not trust these economic, green mobile huts for wilderness then you can do as I did and get a massive housing complex off Amazon. While I’m on the subject, let me drop a nugget of wisdom for you, dear reader.

Panama, being the beautiful belle that she is, excels in finding loopholes in order to do things better and faster. All you have to be, kind sir/madam, is savvy. Because the Internet is a vast playground for commerce, Panamanian banks and privately-owned companies have made a push to make it easy for people living here to purchase goods online. A prime example is that of PayPal. The accepted (and imposed) method of transaction in “The World’s Online Marketplace,” EBay.com, PayPal is a fast and secure method to send and receive money electronically. One of the perks is that in order to open an account with them you need to have a credit card/bank account issued in the country you’re going to be buying stuff from (EBay.com is American, but with branches from other parts of the world including Latin America and the UK). Problem is that Colombia has a PayPal service, as does Costa Rica… Panama, on the other hand, got the shaft in the PayPal cake handout. As a result, a Panamanian with a nationally-issued credit card cannot buy or sell on EBay. Hell, there are several online stores that will not do business with CC’s issued in Latin America because of a bad rep in terms of fraud. So, if I want to buy something there, I’m screwed. What’s a cholo like me to do? Well, the answer is, as we talked about earlier, to be savvy: there are several companies that go about the business of transport and cargo, and some of them provide their US address so that clients can have items delivered there. The company, in turn, will ship said packages out of, say, Miami, straight to Panama, where clients can pick their parcels up. The company will charge a fee for the trouble, and all is well. If you were to ask your bank to change the address issued in the card from a Panamanian to an American one, which you would have with said cargo company, who would be the wiser?

That is how I got my brand new 4-person all-weather tent with windows, a $75 value, for $23 and change. God, I love the Internet.

• A Folding Chair: $10 bucks as well, and they even have those nifty cup-holders in the armrests! Seriously, there’s nothing better than reading a good book on a chilly morning with a Lord of the Rings-inspired landscape before you.
• A Cooler: for food and beverage, of course. These come in various sizes but a respectable cooler will ring you up to around $20, give or take. Of course, if it’s 3AM and there are no hardware stores open (and they won’t be) you can waltz into any 24-hour supermarket and purchase one of their convenient foam coolers, which carry a $4 price tag. They are rather big and do the job just as well as their more-durable cousins but most likely won’t last past the first outing.

Add to that a pillow, a sleeping bag, a knife and a towel and I was ready to go. Jumping into my vehicle I made my way out of the city with my friend and embarked in the 40-minute drive to our destination; roughly 20 minutes into our journey we had to keep our eyes peeled, as while the wide turns and changing altitudes began bending the road out of its usually-straight shape travelers have to be weary of seeing a somewhat inconspicuous sign that says CHICA on an eroded, 30-year old sign. Knowing that the entrance to said town was a hard right turn as a hard left came that, if intoxicated, would mean a 2-mile drop off a green precipice. It has happened before.

The road into Chicá is about 40 minutes, but our stop would come in at around 20. Of course, that stretched out to about 40 minutes due to the heavy fog that plagued the narrow, barely-marked road we ventured into at 8PM at night. We did eventually get there, and what we found was reminiscent of a medieval inn… I wouldn’t have flinched if I saw Santa Claus reading by the chimney when I walked into the lodge.

The reason why we were at a lodge and not fending off bears in the Campana forest was because we would be basically camping out in the lodge’s backyard. You pay a $5 fee per head and they will let you use their facilities which include bathroom, shower, and a kitchen with stove. You are also free to roam to wilderness past a short wooden road that leads you into the forest. It is said (mostly by the townsfolk that work there) that down the path and up a nearby valley there is, I kid you not, a “window to the 4^th dimension” that is opened every full moon. You might be laughing now, but this is as good a time as any to mention that Campana, Panama is one of the places with the highest rate of paranormal activity in the world according to many friends and several articles I’ve read online. You’re prone to see some wild stuff out there, so it’d be a good idea to take your proton cannon if you have one. Even though one of the main reasons why I wanted to go was to have a close encounter of the third kind with either beings from another planet or from another dimension (I’m not picky), alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Instead, we fired up the conveniently-placed grilling station and cooked up some hot dogs while we played drinking games. We had bought Bailey’s less expensive, but just as attractive cousin Derry’s ($9 bucks in supermarkets across the country!) so it was good times all around. Of course, national beer costs around $2.30 a six pack and even though it doesn’t pack the punch of a real beer, it’s great to consume what came from your own land.

Because this is a Panamanian camping trip happening on the backyard of a lodge, we decided to wander around the premises to see if there was a TV of some sort where we could watch the much talked-about Oscar De La Hoya-Floyd Mayweather Jr. boxing match… and not only did we find a flat panel 29-inch TV in the living room, but we also found a powwow of guests around it to watch the DirecTV direct satellite feed of the bout, which was just about to start. Because we’re livin’ on the edge, man!!!

A good night’s sleep outdoors is great for the lungs, and after a hearty breakfast cooked on the fully-equipped kitchen our group started to disband due to prior commitments. The weather was nice and cool, and even though it threatened to rain (as it did that day in the capital) it never did out in the interior, so a small band of us opted for going to a nearby beach 30 minutes away to spend the rest of our Sunday splashing on the waves.

If you are looking to get a one-on-one with nature and (quite possibly) aliens, please don’t hesitate to hop in a car and drive your way to Chicá, in Campana. Just keep driving until you see the Cable & Wireless antenna; you will see the house there. $5 gives you the right to camp out for one night, while rooms ring you up about $25 a night. Vacancy is limited, so try to make it there early. If you feel like doing the nature trail without having to be so adventurous, there’s an hacienda 2km into the entrance to Campana itself called Hacienda Doña Victoria. It has a pool, ranch, game room, volleyball court, a camping area, hammocks, and even road tours. For more information or to make a reservation, you can call them at 236-4152/6618-8370/248-5075.

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