Rob-Rivera.com

Cycles

People have their own beliefs on how life unwraps itself to them, with as many ways to explain the tapestry of the universe as there are people on this planet. I obviously can’t speak for anyone else, but what I can do is talk about the way I make sense of it all, for the sake of communicating as well as the hope that, in speaking my mind, you will want to reflect and make your own conclusions as to what exactly is going on in this crazy mess we like to call “life.”

As it is with many of my editorials of late, the topic at hand has been gnawing at the back of my head for some time now and, for lack of a better way to exorcise my personal demons I stand before you to make sense of it all. I feel like, all-in-all, I’ve lived a pretty fulfilling life: I feel like I earned everything I ever won be it friends, women, career, or whatever. Still, with experience comes other perks, specially for someone like me who makes a habit of looking through the proverbial cracks on the wall. I don’t believe in “fate,” per sé, but I do believe that there are certain markers that lead us on whatever way it is we’re meant to go.

Fate, or the regular definition for it, does not apply in this construct. It is my belief that no God(s) is involved in the grand scheme of things, but instead that we make our own destiny. The catch is that, when you have 6 billion people forging their own destinies onto the world, this one world, we’re bound to affect each other. The grand design was ultimately drawn by us. Fate is people. Your actions (or lack thereof) affect those around you, as do their actions, and so on… like a ripple effect. Whether you credit your personal God for your fortune is not for me to judge, but believe me when I tell you that I’m more scared (and fascinated) by what you can do, not some gigantic bearded omnipotence hiding behind the Sun.

Because fate is people, the concept of “cycles” comes into play in a big way. Very rarely does something happen that is so monumentally far-fetched that there’s no other way to explain it aside from flat-out Divine Intervention of some sort. It does happen, though: sometimes it seems that the universe conspires to “course-correct” whatever path you’re taking in pretty drastic ways. I like to call this the “Cosmic Tetris” effect: somehow everything has a way of falling neatly into the way its supposed to. When I first came up with this concept though, I felt not unlike the way Jules felt after escaping death in “Pulp Fiction;” after going through a series of circumstances all seemingly designed to keep me from deviating from the path I was on at the time, I had no other way of explaining it other than “it’s some kind of weird-ass fate!”

But today, in retrospect, I can attribute it to a series of decisions that people made all on their own, sometimes informed by my actions, others not so much, that laid the path the way it did. It wasn’t some all-seeing benevolence making the path for me; it was me and the other people involved in the making of said path simply acting out and affecting everything else.

Cycles. The chicken and the egg. I’m sure you’ve been through this at some point in your life (don’t worry; if you haven’t I’m sure you’ll get your chance to experience it): you fall into a situation you can’t seem to get out of, no matter what. It can be as personal as an alcohol problem or as huge as countries finding new ways to kill each other. Everyone’s been a victim of the ouroboros effect, the snake that bites its own tail, and it seems that no matter what we try to do to break the cycle the chances of doing so remain distant and highly unlikely. That’s what makes the victory over this kind of adversity that much sweeter, and hopefully have that change be everlasting. I have been through these types of cycles. Never of drugs or alcohol, but of that kind that people seldom talk about, including myself. I willtell you this, though: a bad cycle, no matter if it stems from a whiskey bottle or your own heart, is absolutely horrible.

My question is, then: why is it that people are so content to keep on with their bad cycles if they’re so toxic to begin with? I like to think it’s because we can’t help ourselves to “course-correct.” As people, we’re fundamentally scared of changes because there are never any guarantees… leaps of faith outside of churches are scarce in this cynical modern world we live in.

How do we fix this, then? How do we break these cycles? I like to believe that the only way to put an end to this sort of nonsense is the same as the one that eventually lets you get a grip of your own life: stop going on auto-pilot and take control of the wheel. Thinking a bad cycle is a fact of life and there’s nothing one can do about it is about the most moronic thing anyone can ever do, almost as much as giving up to “fate” as something that anyone else but you has a stake in. I know it’s easier said than done. People can be the nastiest thing in the world when they put their backs into it but you must always remember you have as much power over your life as anyone.

The bottle will still be there tempting you. The girl (or boy) will still be there making your life a quagmire of tar. The boss will still think you’re an expendable turd without a face. They won’t break anything; they have their own problems to face, and odds are you’re nowhere near the top of their “TLC” lists. So, if no one’s going to help you get better, then its best to make better for yourself. Find a friend. A loved one. Someone you trust and confide in, if you have to. Find something that feels true and hold on to it because it’s a brave new world out there, and the only way to really face it is to go out swingin’, without shackles or cycles or fate dragging your goddamn feet to the ground.

Check Out These Related Posts!

Rants From a Drunken Writer:
It's officially 2:51AM where I am right now and I'm drunk enough to tell that I'm drunk at the moment but not drunk enough to not remember what has happened. What happened tonight was inconsecuential even though I had a great time with my friend Patrick but the rant I...

Memoirs: My Friend Chirag:
Might as well discuss it here. As it turns out, this bloke is soon to be married. I met him in 1998, 8 years ago at school... we were in Grade 10. I remember when he introduced himself to the class midway thru the school year all I could think...

Requiem for When it Began:
This story begins in the second grade; a shy young kid that went by the name of “Robert” was dropped off at school by his mom and when he stepped into his classroom the teacher was addressing the class, talking about the new kid that just came in... she asked...