In a place as hectic as Panama City, where the traffic is horrible, everyone seems like they’re a nudge away from popping a vein and getting things done may seem like a monumental task, not unlike that of Odysseus in “The Odyssey,” it seems imperative to find a place to relax. Most people go far away from the capital in search for the slices of papaya heaven spread across this beautiful, delicious apple pie most commonly referred as “Panama.”

The way things are though, there should be a more immediate way to simply time out and have some “me-time,” a state where 40-year old public buses aren’t running over old ladies and the noise coming from the various construction quagmires drilling and making things virtually impossible to bear, the so-called “construction boom,” can be shut off. It’s on this principle that I decided to take up the gracious offer dropped in my inbox from the folks at Driftaway Panama to check out their intriguing “flotation center.”

The premise, at first glance, sounds like something pulled out of a sci-fi movie (I’m going with the 60’s-70’s wave): They have these flotation devices or isolation tanks, if you will, where you jump into, seal it shut and float. The water used in this method is mixed with Epsom Salts in order to make it dense, meaning that you’ll float even if you’re as big as a house.

This, combined with the pitch-black nothingness of the chamber and absence of noise allows your mind to switch on the autopilot, allowing the body to heal itself quicker on both the physical and mental levels. The semi-conscious state achieved can be compared to the deep meditation commonly practiced in yoga, allowing the body to detox itself of any ailments, muscle pain, cuts and bruises. It would also allow for your mind to gain a state of clarity where you can solve all of your problems, cure cancer and defeat Voldemort without breaking a sweat. So basically, it’s a regen chamber. A regen chamber full of awesome.

Now, for the scientific explanation (introducing R.E.S.T, or Restricted Environmental Stimulation Technique):

An isolation tank is a lightless, soundproof tank in which subjects float in salty water at skin temperature. They were first used by John C. Lilly in 1954 in order to test the effects of sensory deprivation. Such tanks are now also used for meditation and relaxation and in alternative medicine. Isolation tanks were originally called sensory deprivation tanks. Other synonyms for isolation tank include float tank, floating tank, floater tank, flotation tank, REST tank, flotation baths, John Lilly tank and sensory attenuation tank.

A therapeutic session in a flotation tank typically lasts an hour. For the first forty minutes, it is reportedly possible to experience itching in various parts of the body (a phenomenon also reported to be common during the early stages of meditation). The last twenty minutes often end with a transition from beta or alpha brainwaves to theta, which typically occurs briefly before sleep and again at waking. In a float tank, the theta state can last for several minutes without the subject losing consciousness. Many use the extended theta state as a tool for enhanced creativity and problem-solving or for superlearning. The more often the tank is used the longer the theta period becomes.

So, your body shuts down and all sorts of goodness happens while you’re on the backseat of a cosmic ride that probably inspired Steppenwolf’s “Magic Carpet Ride” but without the hallucinogens. Or am I bluffing? As mentioned above, the pioneer of this technique is one John C. Lilly who, in 1954, wanted to have a thrill or two by experimenting with sensory deprivation. What the quote doesn’t tell you is that he thought it’d be a good idea to speed things up with LSD. Have you ever heard of a movie called “Altered States?”

(Un)Fortunately, nowadays there are no chances of tripping out any craziness in these isolation tanks. The technique has been refined and today is used by many to get a quick release of stress and, well, regeneration. In Europe, many sports clubs (rugby, soccer, tennis… you name it) have a tank at the ready to regen their players for their often grinding schedule. How do you think soccer superstars can keep up with so many games so often? Outside of athletes though, the tank is used by everyday people as a very convenient “time out” from the hectic nature of their lives. Having done this amount of research on the subject, I simply couldn’t wait to try it out. Admittedly, it was a little difficult to explain the concept to my friends and resorted to various examples to make them associate it with sound and image. Of course, Abe Sapien, Vegeta and Ben Affleck as Matt Murdock aren’t exactly as mainstream/friendly as I’d like, so I would have to rely on a first-hand account.

I had set up my regen chamber appointment for Friday night (that’s right, kids: you have to phone in and schedule your healing hour) and arrived as giddy as an 8-year old. After a brief explanation on what was going to go down and some recommendations, I was ready to go deep sea diving in the ocean of my subconsciousness. They won’t let you into the tank if you’re on any kind of mind-altering substance (alcohol, drugs) and they do ask you if you have a history of epilepsy and/or claustrophobia. Since you’ll be all alone in the room, in control of the environment it’s good to know these things beforehand. You can choose to keep the lights on in the room or listen to music while you float, as well as wear a bathing suit but the optimal conditions are dead quiet, pitch black and naked in the tank. Inside the room, there’s a shower, the tank, and a little table thingy so you can put your stuff. Remember that you’re in control of everything that happens from that point on, and there are several pressure-enabled buttons inside the tank to control the lights, music and call the staff if you have any questions.

The procedure at this point is quite simple: jump in the shower and rinse a little, get the ear plugs provided by the staff (don’t forget them!) and just jump into the chamber. The feeling that encompasses this, and I’ve tried to put it into words for several days, is quite indescribable: you’re not aware of it as it happens, but once you’re in that zone where you’re neither here nor there - a semi-conscious state that can only be compared to those dreams where you open your eyes and your mind is awake but your body is still shut down - your brain starts unraveling the secrets of your personal universe. It’s important to note that you won’t hallucinate like Mr. William Hurt did in “Altered States;” nevertheless, when the brain hits its stride while inside the tank and both mind and body relax, your perspective shifts to that of a world without time. There’s a reason why they’ll tell you to turn your phone off: a whole hour of an interrupted void will truly play a number on your perception, making you believe you’re floating on zero gravity across the vastness of space.

To say I enjoyed the experience is an understatement. I felt like i was lying on a couch cloud floating about the vastness of space, and it was when I realize my body had checked out of the building for some self-healing that my brain went out on a rampage. It was like trying to ride a very excitable, relentless wild horse: I don’t remember all the revelations that I saw before me during the session but if I told you I could remember the first 50 digits of the number Pi, figured out a way to cure AIDS and saw a parallel future where President Obama was shot in the chest by a Russian sniper and only Jack Bauer could stop the terrorists that did it, I wouldn’t be lying. The brain becomes more nimble, and problems become easier to untangle. Stress goes away, and a feeling of serenity makes problem solving child’s play. It’s also a good thing how time seems to stretch when you’re floating in this semi-conscious void; I felt like I floated for three hours, when in reality the standard session only lasts one.

You get a complementary bottle of water after you’re out of the session, once you get out of the tanks and shower to get the Epsom Salts off your skin. Shampoo, conditioner, soap and towels are all provided by Driftaway, so all you have to take is your sorry carcass and a comb, if you need it. Once you’re out, the real detox process begins. I will not account my experience as the standard way of how the body gets rid of toxins, but I can tell you how I felt: after I walked out I have a lovely conversation with the owners of Driftaway Panama, Mike and Kim Buchan. They’re incredible people and were very eager to know how I felt about the whole experience. As I drank water and engaged in conversation, I think that all of it mixed with my recently detached sense of time made my body feel like a million bucks, like I took it to a repair shop and was given an overhaul. It was handling like a dream!

As I drove home, I stopped at a light and while waiting for my green an uncharacteristically well-versed hobo approached me. He spun the usual yarn about how he came to the city from the jungles of Quatar and couldn’t find a job, etc. I usually do not give handouts, and that’s a whole other topic for another day, but at that moment in particular I felt so good about myself that not only did I look around to see if if I had any change for the poor man, but when I realized I didn’t I pulled out a dollar and gave it to him. “Today’s your lucky day, sir. You caught me in a great mood,” I said. His eyes sparked up like it was Christmas; he then pulled a kid outta nowhere and ran away like he heard the ice cream truck in the distance or something. The effects prolonged themselves as well: I went out to cover an All In Latino poker tournament at the Marriott over the weekend and I drank like I was Irish… I have the bad habit of mixing different drinks (I play hard like that) and after a long night of partying and ingesting rum, seco, vodka, some cocktails and four different kinds of beer I went to sleep at 3:30a.m. only to wake up at 8a.m. on a Sunday with a mild case of the hiccups and hungry for an Egg McMuffin. No hangover whatsoever. It took me a couple of hours to realize this as well, but when I did, it hit me like a bag full of bricks: “just what in the hell did that regen chamber do to me?”

As a matter of controlled study, I invited my mom to try it out. She’s eons healthier and is ten times more conscious of her health than I am, going to the gym every day and eating well so I figured it’d be a great way to test the regen chamber’s might. Also, she’s my mom and she deserves a time-out. I waited patiently for the results of this exercise, as I knew she had just started weightlifting 250lbs (yeah, I know. She’s like Rambo) and was still sore from her body adjusting. I had told her about all the wonderful things my body was doing post-regen and got her excited enough to get over her slight claustrophobia and try it out. The results, to her, were incredible: her muscle pain vanished, and she could miraculously stand my dad’s painfully acidic humor without batting an eye! Truly incredible. My dad’s humor is not unlike an Alien’s acid drool. One time I got stuck inside a drawer of the bunk bed I slept in when I was a kid (don’t ask) and my dad got me out by dropping his jokes on the wood, melting a hole so I could get out.

Personally, I’ll make the effort to turn this regen chamber into a regular thing. As far as alternative medicine is concerned, the isolation chamber does wonders for my body and mind. In a place like Panama City, where everybody is on the go, impatient to the point of rudeness and some are just borderline moronic at times, it’s good to know there’s a place right in the city where one can simply turn the phone off, relax and tune off for a little while experiencing a world without time. If you’d like to know more about Driftaway Panama, visit their website; it’s very informative and a great way to prep yourself or anyone else before your session. Their staff is bilingual, so no need to worry about the language barrier. The isolation tank might not be as sci-fi as, say, an episode of Battlestar Galactica, but it is a truly unique experience that I can recommend to one and all. Honestly. I gave a hobo a dollar. How in the world can a regen chamber trigger that?

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