Sorry to be tossing you my funny XXX content in order to mask my lack of Panama Tour Guide entries but there’s a lot of stuff going on that needs my attention, but I don’t want to leave you faithful readers out of fresh content. I might be able to post something noteworthy in the afternoon but in the meantime I hope you enjoy a second installment of web site reviews I was asked to do. As a bonus, I will add the introductory text that precedes this steaming heap so you can have a hardy laugh. The reviews stand, though… so if you’re looking for a porn fix, these reviews are a good barometer in regards of what you might expect from the site. Enjoy, pervs!

I’m what you would call a pornography connoisseur. Ever since the first time I spanked the monkey with my dad’s old Playboys I’ve developed somewhat of an encyclopedic knowledge on all things XXX. When the Internet came, I was all over that shit; now, 10 years later, I’ve spent THOUSANDS of dollars quenching my thirst for hot chicks doing the most hardcore sex acts imaginable and even though I’ve struck poontang gold most of the time, there are others where things weren’t as exciting as I had hoped.

Having said that I’ve decided to give back to the community by passing my XXX knowledge down to you, fellow reader. You come to the Internet looking for a XXX fix but don’t know where to start? I’m here to help. This is an ongoing project where I’ll be posting reviews on what I believe are the best porn sites on the web, all of them FREE and with no risks. The list of sites is down below, along with a link to my impressions of the site so that you know what you’re in for when you take your pick. I’m just like you (broke and horny) so I wouldn’t recommend anything shitty… without further adieu, here are the sites!

 

14. MattsModels.com

 

First Impression

Wow, I can get my porn in Italian if I wanted to! Se habla espanol, too. Muy bueno, gringos. This gives me the impression that the site has an international presence and I guess some people like that with their porn, but different languages don’t mean shit if you don’t have the goods to keep me entertained… I came here to fuck. Amuse me, Matt… bring out your bitches and blow my fucking mind.

 

My Opinion

After getting through the kiddie-filter page I’m met with a shitoload of T&A… I’m loving it like you have no idea. There’s a very-convenient sidebar that tells me this site has its shit together: features like the sites Top 30 models and the content being broken down into categories are nice touches toi an already glowing website, with content spilling out its sides. The main page also shows you what the latest updates/models have been posted with previews of each… not too shabby!

 

There’s also a lot of free content for us folks who are tight on cash; for example, if you go into the aforementioned Top 30 page you’ll see a thumbnail list of the site’s most popular models (and they’re popular for good reasons… fucking bitches are tight as hell) and if you click on any of them you’ll be transported to what I guess could be called the model’s profile page. There’s your model, naked and showing you what she’s made of along with a mini bio that is a cute gesture, I suppose, but we’re not here to know the girl’s story… we’re here to know what she does when she’s gagging on dick, so I’ll direct you to the photo sets the profile page has just below the bio. They’re not much, but when you consider that you have 30 profile pages to go through then that’s a lot of variety of a free tour area, y’know what I mean?

 

And whaddayaknow, ladies and gents… they also have video previews! Just click on your favorite fantasies either on the menu bar to your left or the conveniently-labeled thumbnails to your right. You’ll be quickly ushered into video preview areas where you’ll see hot teen babes getting down and dirty with each other… this sir is a happy camper.

 

Conclusion

I don’t see why anybody would pay for this site when there’s so much free stuff to entertain yourself with in the free area! This is great… I still can’t, for the life of me understand why some sites give out so much free stuff! Maybe it’s because people like me will stumble into them at talk good things about them? Makes you wonder. Whether that’s the site’s intention or not though, they made a believer out of me. I’ll definitely come back and find more free stuff to work it with!

 

Subscription

3-day trial for $4.95

6 months for $49.00

SUMMER SPECIAL - $14.95 for 30 days (great deal)

 

Content quality: 18/20

Content amount: 15/15

Updates: 18/20

Navigation: 10/10

Speed: 16/20

Price vs. content: 10/10

Extras: 3/5

 

Total score: 90/100

 

15. TEN.com

 

First Impression

Holy shit. The site’s layout is fantastic. This place has a lot of stuff going for it and even though they do reviews too, I don’t hold any grudges. There’s a lot of content to navigate and in that regard I look forward to the dissecting of this particular web portal…

 

My Opinion

… If only I could actually see something! Besides the awesome videos playing on the header and the hot Latina in a bikini on the front, there’s not much else to feast my eyes on other than a bunch of gibberish. And speaking of said gibberish, for the purposes of this review I feel obligated to talk about them so here goes: on the right you have a box that is pretty much user feedback and other forms of fellatio. “The site’s great” and “keep it up” and other nonsense we don’t really need to hear. Below are some porn site reviews; they sound serviceable enough if you’re looking for a quick overview of what the situation is in the particular site the text refers to at the given time (*ahem*). RSS feeds and top searches round out the content. Now to check out this free video thing the chicks in the old TV on the header keep flashing their titties at me for.

 

They have A LOT of videos and judging by the screenshots that member’s area must be an awesome party to be in. If there’s something I hate, that’s porn sites that don’t have any free content. It’s fucked up, and in that regard TEN.com has dropped the ball. I’m not happy, dammit! Every link I click on that promises me sex beyond my wildest dreams takes me to the fucking “Join” page from hell… it’s downright frustrating. As the soup nazi would say: “No soup for you!”

 

Conclusion

If only I could’ve taken a sneak peek into the members area of the site I’m sure I would’ve walked out of the site a million times happier than I am right now. The content looks awesome, just like the site itself but it’s a disappointment that I can’t have a taste of the good without running into the dreaded “dead end.”

 

Subscription

1 month for $29.95

3 months for $74.95

 

Content quality: 14/20

Content amount: 10/15

Updates: 18/20

Navigation: 6/10

Speed: 15/20

Price vs. content: 6/10

Extras: 2/5

 

Total score: 71/100

 

 

16. MrSkin.com

 

First Impression

One of the longest-running and most popular nude sites on the Internet, Mr. Skin specializes in celebrity nudes. If you’ve ever heard of a Hollywood starlet who got naked at whatever movies, chances are that Mr. Skin has high quality screen caps of it. I actually signed up for a while to the site and the place was really cool for the time I stayed subscribed; it’s been a while since our breakup though, so we’ll see how the reconciliation goes down.

 

My Opinion

What a fucking disappointment. I thought that our time together a while ago would’ve counted for anything but this whore spat me back out like she didn’t even know me. After going through the kiddie filter I diligently click on the free tour link in order to check out the goods and the page I encounter is promising, showing me Denise Richards’ tits, Nicole Kidman’s ass and Jessica Alba doing that stripper dance from “Sin City.” Awesome, right? So, I notice they have shots of Carla Gugino naked (from “Sin City” as well) so I’m all over that shit and start clicking and to my surprise I run into a brick wall in the form of a payment form.

 

“This can’t be,” I thought to myself so I clicked on the Back button and tried Denise Richards’ titties but I was met with the same payment page. As it turns out, the whole “tour page” is just one big link to the sign up page! Weak. It’s stuff like that that scares away potential (and non-potential) customers like myself. I’m heartbroken, Mr. Skin. I thought you loved me, but it turns out you’re as much as a gold-digger as the rest of them. Bitch.

 

If you’re still interested though, they take pride in having the largest nude celebrity database on the web with 13,000 actresses, 20,000 movies, 125,000 pics and 40,000 clips. I suppose that if you’re willing to pay you’ll get a good deal, but whatever…

 

Conclusion

I don’t want to talk about it. No, wait. I’ll tell you one thing about Mr. Skin. Mr. Skin’s a sick freak who likes little boys! Nah, I’m just kidding. Maybe. Who the hell does a mock up of hot celebrity pics, links it to their sign up page and calls that a “tour?!” Assholes, that’s who!

 

Subscription

3-day trial at $4.95, $29.95 recurring monthly

20-day membership at $29.95, then $29.95 recurring monthly

 

Content quality: 19/20

Content amount: 15/15

Updates: 18/20

Navigation: 8/10

Speed: 18/20

Price vs. content: 9/10

Extras: 4/5

 

Total score: 91/100

 

17. HotLegsAndFeet.com

 

First Impression

“Rated #1 by leg and foot lovers.” I’d like to meet these people and ask them what drugs they’re on. Everything you could possibly do to a foot is advertised in the first page I run into, and with exclusive content spanning a 5-year archive with over 500 foot models (that’s how you call them, right? Foot models?) and Super HQ pics I’ll take this baby out for a spin just for you, readers.

 

My Opinion

I must say that for a leg and foot fetish site, they’re layout is pretty frickin’ awesome. Light on the words and heavy on the pics! I like that a lot, and the girls are hot as hell, too. This looks promising!

 

Getting inside the tour, I find the goods: they tell you about all the stuff you should hear like the site having Super HQ pic sizes upto 1600×1200 pixels (read: really fucking big), over 150,000 exclusive pics and high-resolution video starring over 500 exclusive models in DiVX/WMV/MOV formats, all downloadable. The treasures lie right below the awesome features the site has; click on a model, any model. They’re all hot as hell so whichever you choose you’re guaranteed a good time. Once you do you’ll be transported to a sample video page where you can see clips that blatantly illustrate what the site’s about. Next up, pictures… and after that, the models. Awesome.

 

These people are tech-savvy so they’ve got your back in regards to video format. As I said earlier they have video formats out the ass so you have no excuse to not watch all of the videos and automatically direct your ass to the Join page. If you still need some more convincing then the site has a spiffy testimonials sections with real users that are happy as a junebug for being part of the site.

 

Conclusion

I’m very happy with HotLegsAndFeet.com. Who would’ve thunk it? I’m not ever a foot fetish kind of guy and I want to join the site. Unbelievable… it could be the mix of hot babes and an awesome layout or some enchanting digital foot dust that passed on from the speakers to my nostrils but one thing’s for sure: I totally recommend this site for both foot fetishists and normal horn dogs alike!

 

Subscription

30 days for $29.95, recurring every 30 days

60 days for $49.95, recurring every 60 days

90 days for $59.95, recurring every 90 days

365 days for $150.00, non-recurring

 

Content quality: 18/20

Content amount: 15/15

Updates: 19/20

Navigation: 9/10

Speed: 19/20

Price vs. content: 8/10

Extras: 4/5

 

Total score: 92/100

 

18. BadPuppy.com

 

First Impression

Oh, God… gay male models. I didn’t think I’d have to review this. Isn’t there enough budget for a girl and/or a gay man to deal with these sites? Agh, sorry about that… the macho man in me surfaced. Whatever, we’ll see how this goes. Purple and green background, check. Random naked guys all over the layout, check. Dude with a six-pack holding his crotch, check.

 

My Opinion

Well, I’ll try to be as objective as I can with this particular site so bare with me if I run into any potholes in the narrative of this particular review. BadPuppy.com has a very comprehensive menu with everything your rainbow ass could possibly desire, from chat rooms to video reviews, an online shop, webcams with real amateurs waiting to give you a good show and much more. The interface is fairly simplistic, posting the newest updates and additions to the site in a convenient list that users can look into so that they can find their fix a lot faster. The models on the site suggest that they’re amateurs, and considering the links that call for male models and photographers I could set that assessment in stone.

 

There are a few pics and videos you can see for free as well as peek into the many different sections the site has but when you get that itch and watch to join in the fun you’re promptly directed to the sign up page. For a site that shows you how much they have and doesn’t let you see anything when you ask for it, I guess the working term here is “cocktease.” Hey, it’s a unisex term now!

 

Conclusion

The site looks like it packs a punch, but it’s mostly reserved for members. I try to look at it from my perspective and if I see it that way then I would definitely give the site a shot. It’s simple, easy to navigate and you can get to what you want in just a click or two at the most. Not bad!

 

Subscription

10 days for $19.95, non-recurring

Monthly membership for $24.95, $24.95 recurring monthly

$34.95 for a monthly membership, non-recurring

$79.95 for a 3-month membership, non-recurring

 

Content quality: 18/20

Content amount: 15/15

Updates: 18/20

Navigation: 8/10

Speed: 17/20

Price vs. content: 7/10

Extras: 5/5

 

Total score: 88/100

 

19. AllOver30.com

 

First Impression

MILF tits! Hell yeah! I went out with a MILF once when I was a freshman in college. Bitch was a freak, man… for that reason, I have a soft spot in my heart for this rare specimen that you rarely see and even less catch. The crazy kiddie filter is great, because only REAL MEN can withstand the burning desire of MILF loins.

 

My Opinion

I see the goods right off the bat and I’m a happy camper… every single babe in the lot looks like a sex freak! The webmaster sure knows how to pick a good MILF when he sees one… if you look at the model pages you’ll be treated to a mini photo set that perfectly encapsulates the flavor of the site while at the same time cockteases the living shit out of you. These preview pages are like bargains, and a successful bargain is always the one where you feel you’ve lost something in order to gain another.

 

They’ve divided the site into categories for us horn dogs and the selection is promising, each one with their own preview galleries featuring some of their models. We have fetishes, exotic moms, girl-on-girl, nude in public, furry pussies and much more! With pics and videos in every section one could spend hours looking around the site… watch the time go by! If you keep going thru the tour you’ll run into free sample clips so you can check out the girls getting down and dirty for the cameras and you’ll also get the models page where you can get to know the ladies up close and personal. Overall a very nice site.

 

Conclusion

Not only do they have overwhelming content but they also have cool gadgets like a tricked-put search engine that lets you look for THE perfect girl after you put in your unique specifications in the search form! That, coupled with the large database of MILF pics and videos and the choice to pay via credit card or online check make this site one to bookmark for sure!

 

Subscription

$29.95 for 30 days

$49.95 for 60 days

$64.95 for 90 days

 

Content quality: 19/20

Content amount: 15/15

Updates: 18/20

Navigation: 8/10

Speed: 18/20

Price vs. content: 9/10

Extras: 5/5

 

Total score: 92/100

Tags: 10 years later, adult, adult websites, Articles, best porn sites, blog, encyclopedic knowledge, faithful readers, fellow reader, first impression, funny xxx, guide entries, hardcore sex acts, hot girls, hot chicks, introductory text, mattsmodels, might expect from, naked girls, NSFW, ongoing project, panama tour, pervs, playboys, poontang, rants, reviews, Rob Rivera, spanked, spent thousands

Share This

Trackback URL