I Can’t Believable – A Panamanian Dell Call Center Sale Gone Wrong
I would like to take the moment to talk about a YouTube video that is slowly (but surely) taking the internet by storm, and I’m proud to say that this bonafide viral video comes from my little slice of heaven, that S-shaped paradise smack-dab in the middle of the equator we mere mortals have come to call Panama. Based entirely on hearsay, the story about the Dell Employee taunting a customer is basically this: in the year 2003, Dell Computer Enterprises opened a 500-seat call center in Panama, more specifically the Howard Air Force Base. People were ridiculously happy to slave away their lives in this call center, the first of its kind in the history of the country. Dell, of course, was also happy since they were thoroughly satisfied with the results of setting up shop in the most advanced country in the region: cheap labor meant less costs, and since Panama doesn’t smell like curry Mr. Michael Dell would come visit and visit often he did. I have never set foot inside a call center so I wouldn’t know on first accord, but as it is, companies like to stake their share when it comes to quality control; hence, they would often record phone conversations their agents would have with customers. The whole thing is seemingly random unless clients escalate calls with agents, which can happen at any moment said client feels the need to call on a supervisor.
This Dell call center sales rep, whose name is Roberto as a matter of fact, was moderately average at his job. Never won any employee of the month awards, wasn’t too keen on hanging out with co-workers after work and didn’t obsess about the job to the point of it leaking over to every other aspect of his life as it happened to many of my friends at the time the call center first opened. By Marley, it was horrible. In any case, Roberto slipped under the radar; not too good, not to bad: conveniently mediocre. Of course, that all changed when one given afternoon, Roberto got a phone call from this sir who saw a flyer on his way home.
As luck will have it, Roberto’s phone conversation with the incredibly tolerant hillbilly was recorded as part of the company’s quality control policies. Someone in charge of that, most likely Panamanian, could not pass up the chance of sharing the hilarity with his peers and promptly made a copy of the audio file, quickly making the rounds around the call center floor. Before the suits could do anything to contain the damage in productivity done by the incessant replay of said conversation, the call managed to leave the Dell bubble and hit the Panamanian internet like a jackhammer. I remember my friend Kuma being the first guy who exposed me to Roberto’s exploits, saying that he was fired soon after the call took place yet he was hired in the call center Kuma himself worked at the time. Mediocrity prevails once again!
Anyway, my friend Bloke, for some incredible reason, had the foresight to build a viral video around it, the result being what you see above. The call is so incredible that people across the world wide web still wonder about its authenticity, and no matter how many times Panamanians who have heard the tale verify the truth behind the call, all that’s left is to enjoy the insanity that people across the world seem to be going apeshit about. Of course, I would love for this viral video to spread even wider because the video really is funny, so this is me doing my part. Enjoy, and try not to choke. I can’t believable.
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