Lunches with Marco 2
Hey, it’s Marco’s birthday so make sure to drop by his chunk of the internet and say hello; to honor the kid in the day of his birth I’ve decided to post another one of our crazy talks because I’ve been getting emails and I find them hilarious. This was earlier today, so they’re funky-fresh lyrics; I just have one disclaimer. Well, two: first and foremost, remember that we’re pretty brass and ridiculous when it comes to the stuff we talk about so viewer discretion is advised. Also, we talk quite a lot about Alfonso Cuarón’s “Children of Men” getting into heavy spoiler territory so if you haven’t seen it yet (you really should) I suggest you skip that chunk of the conversation… I’ll leave a breadcrumb to let you know when it’s coming up. Now enjoy yourselves, bitches:
(08:47:33) Rob: happy birthday, by the way
(08:47:52) Marco: Thanks haha.
(08:48:06) Marco: it’s been a year ever since i last heard that.
(08:48:10) Rob: haha jackass
(08:48:16) Rob: you should’ve taken it off
(08:48:53) Marco: But I would loose 20 bucks though
(08:49:08) Rob: ugh
(08:49:18) Marco: I need every single dollar
(08:49:19) Rob: fucking capitalism
(08:49:23) Marco: haha
(08:49:25) Marco: i know i know
(08:49:47) Marco: I’m a financial slave
(08:51:11) Rob: we both are
(08:51:16) Rob: we’re whores haha
(08:51:19) Rob: money whores
(08:52:19) Marco: We’re getting paid for less than one employee and we’re doing the jobs of four employees
(08:52:53) Rob: exactly
(08:52:59) Rob: we should torch this place
(08:53:25) Marco: haha I would love to! We should get paid a lot more.
(08:53:33) Marco: 450 for a video editor, are you fucking nuts?
(08:55:21) Marco: I’m serious man. This country doesn’t deserve to get raped like this.
(08:56:14) Rob: no it doesn’t
(08:56:22) Rob: no lube, no nothing
(08:56:27) Rob: just hardcore penetration
(08:56:27) Marco: Nothing at all.
(08:56:34) Rob: chaffing
(08:56:41) Rob: or rather, “chafing”
(08:56:51) Rob: ribbed for their pleasure
(08:56:57) Marco: If you noticed we’re getting fatter now, because we’re all filled with cum.
(08:57:18) Rob: like we’re twinkies
(08:57:42) Marco: “mah-koh”, tie-ahm far yoor ass rapin
(08:58:38) Rob: bend o-vah!
(08:58:42) Marco: hahaha
(08:59:12) Rob: least he could do is buy you some doritos
(08:59:13) Marco: I’m going to slap these little girls, they’ve been giggling all day
(08:59:24) Marco: hahah buy me doritos and then get raped
(08:59:33) Rob: it’s the polite thing to do
(09:00:02) Rob: which little girls?
(09:00:22) Marco: Anna Choly Pie and Gloria Sugar Tits
(09:01:31) Rob: hahah sugar tits! we were talking about that earlier
(09:01:45) Marco: Really? (09:01:46) Marco: haha (09:01:53) Rob: her jugs shake a fucking lot, man
(09:02:14) Marco: I know they shake a lot.
(09:02:34) Marco: She shouldn’t have any money…she should be a prostitute
(09:02:39) Marco: so i can pay to fuck her
(09:03:06) Marco: She would make a fucking awesome stripper at the
Capri (09:03:12) Marco: shaking those tits
(09:04:08) Rob: definitely
(09:04:19) Rob: and that dumb “fuck me” look of hers
(09:04:24) Rob: “HUUUUUUUUH?”
(09:04:27) Marco: Hahahah
(09:04:36) Marco: Yeah she does have a dumb look, because she is dumb
(09:04:58) Rob: her tits do the thinking for her
(09:05:06) Marco: hahahahahahha
(09:05:15) Rob: with all of that shaking she must have constant migraines
(09:05:17) Marco: she’s no smarter than a fucking door
(09:05:36) Rob: shake her head and it’ll sound like a baby rattle
(09:05:47) Rob: shukushukushukushuku
(09:05:52) Marco: hahahahahha
(09:06:08) Marco: I’d love to see that bitch at the beach.
(09:07:29) Marco: ohhhh wait she should be the stadium bukkake girl!
(09:07:46) Rob: bukkake-uhhh!!!
(09:08:00) Marco: bukkake-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-rarara
(09:08:15) Rob: death by cum drowning
(09:08:22) Marco: hahahaha
(09:08:30) Marco: her tits jump out of the sea of cum
(09:09:01) Marco: I’d pack them and take them home…use them as an arm rest
(09:17:55) Marco has disconnected.
(09:21:05) Marco has connected.
(09:21:26) Rob: those are big fucking arm rests
(09:21:32) Rob: and jiggly ones
(09:22:00) Marco: I know haha…I’ve play some videos with my hands on those
(09:22:08) Marco: dude she has a niceeeeeeeeeee assss toooo
(09:22:09) Marco: oh my
(09:22:59) Marco: I wish I had like a stealth suit, because I’d follow her home and rape her lol
(09:23:12) Marco: or at least touch her tits
(09:23:29) Rob: like in Hollow Man
(09:23:38) Rob: starring Kevin Bacon
(09:23:45) Marco: Yeah hahah
(09:24:05) Marco: Hahaha punch her boyfriend if she has one
(09:24:11) Marco: knock him out and fuck her.
(09:24:36) Marco: and then knock her out lol
(09:26:23) Marco: dude the zombie walk girl got in trouble
(09:26:31) Marco: i know her
(09:26:33) Marco: she knows me
(09:26:37) Marco: by the way
(09:27:51) Rob: whaddaya mean “got in trouble?”
(09:27:56) Rob: that sucks, i really like her
(09:28:24) Marco: haha she talked to me, she saw me at Julio’s house…she knows julio’s brother.
(09:29:37) Marco: she knows how sick I am =/
(09:29:45) Marco: but she’s nice
(09:29:52) Rob: she certainly looks nice
(09:29:58) Rob: what happened with her?
(09:30:24) Marco: “Vlad” caught her chatting haha
(09:31:04) Marco: then he’s like, “are you okay?”, she’s like….”yeah I feel sick..” and he’s like “well go home”……”she keeps on chatting….this guy was like wtf….and then he’s like “come with me…”
(09:31:39) Rob: uh oh
(09:31:45) Marco: hahaha
(09:31:48) Rob: the wrath of Vlad
(09:31:56) Marco: The Wrath of Vlad
(09:31:57) Rob: master blast her ass
(09:32:01) Marco: Hahahaha
(09:32:09) Marco: “You like!?!?!?”
(09:32:17) Rob: hahahaha
(09:32:23) Rob: that sucks though, i like her
(09:32:41) Marco: Yeah, but she has a boyfriend, I got a picture of her in a swimsuit
(09:32:42) Marco: lol
(09:34:31) Rob: HUH
(09:34:36) Rob: how’d that happen? haha
(09:34:46) Marco: lol dude she’s on myspace
(09:34:47) Marco: haha
(09:34:50) Marco: let me show you
(09:35:48) Marco: got to watch out because she sits right next to me.
(09:36:13) Marco: You should get on MySpace more man, what the fuck.
(09:36:23) Marco: You’d be penetrating a lot of women.
(09:37:05) Rob: ugh i dunno
(09:37:15) Marco: **Marco sent me her MySpace profle**
(09:37:29) Rob: i tried integrating my blog posts to myspace but nothing yet so i’m turned off constantly by it
(09:37:46) Rob: besides i wouldn’t know where to start, yoyogi
(09:38:22) Marco: Miyagi I’ll teach you…..in Yoooooo-yogi-ah school of orgasm uh
(09:38:46) Rob: bukkake-uhhh
(09:38:55) Marco: hahaha bukkake-uhhhhhhhhhh
(09:40:03) Rob: lots of emoness here
(09:40:47) Marco: Where??
(09:41:22) Rob: the myspace profile
(09:41:25) Rob: it’s cute though
(09:41:31) Rob: dunno why, but i find it cute
(09:41:43) Marco: haha dude i love emo chicks
(09:41:47) Marco: they never get the right cock
(09:41:55) Marco: until they meet normal guys like us
(09:42:10) Rob: we’re “normal?”
(09:42:13) Rob: haha shit
(09:42:20) Rob: civilization has gone to hell
(09:42:31) Rob: children of me, all of us
(09:42:34) Rob: men*
(09:42:56) Marco: Hahaha
(09:43:04) Marco: Compared to emo’s? We’re gods.
(09:43:11) Marco: Neris needs more cock.
(09:43:22) Marco: You think you can provide her with that man?
(09:43:33) Rob: bukkake-uhh!
(09:43:40) Marco: hahahahaha bukkake!!!!
(09:43:42) Rob: what happened to her anyway? she still calling?
(09:43:50) Marco: yeah she’s still calling
(09:43:54) Marco: dude she needs more cock
(09:43:57) Marco: but im going monk
(09:44:01) Marco: maybe you can finish the job
(09:44:09) Rob: emo-poon
(09:46:11) Marco: So you finished the job bro?
(09:46:17) Marco: finishing*
(09:46:52) Marco: I don’t think I got anymore cum for anybody
(09:47:45) Rob: oh please, you’ve got to be joking
(09:47:51) Rob: birthday fuck, come on!
(09:48:07) Marco: Nah man haha, I’ve ran out of cum dude lol
(09:49:36) Marco: Neris needs a dose of cum, which I don’t have anymore.
(09:50:12) Rob: she’s still asking for twinkie treatment?
(09:50:14) Rob: damn
(09:50:52) Marco: I’m going monk for a while…so I can recharge on some cum
(09:57:23) Rob: unbelievable
(09:58:15) Rob: we’re 3 years older than this girl? damn
(09:58:25) Rob: did NOT see that coming
(09:58:50) Marco: I’m 24 year old single father working on a three thousand dollar science fiction short movie….and I’m still missing 2,500
(09:59:57) Marco: That’s sad.
(10:00:16) Marco: Hopefully those producers in the states make something happen. I’m really looking forward to that.
(10:01:48) Rob: unleash the cockosaurus
(10:02:19) Rob: I think i’m gonna post this on my blog today haha
(10:02:25) Rob: we talk a lot of trash
(10:02:25) Marco: shit you made me laugh out loud (for real)
(10:02:34) Marco: haha post away
(10:02:34) Rob: cockosaurus
(10:02:37) Marco: hahaha
(10:02:41) Rob: rawrrr *spprrtt*
(10:02:48) Marco: like four people looked back at me.
(10:02:51) Rob: hahaha
(10:03:03) Marco: including cockstar
(10:03:57) Rob: hahah oh crap
(10:04:07) Rob: i wonder what tom cruise thinks of all this
(10:04:55) Marco: He’s on a spaceship
(10:05:01) Marco: left a clone here.
(10:05:10) Marco: He knows nothing of our world anymore, fuck him.
(10:05:33) Marco: I don’t like people who zap into space thinking they’re hot shit.
(10:06:03) Rob: yeah
(10:06:24) Rob: xenu cock munchers
(10:06:38) Rob: they’re cock muchers because they munch on cock
(10:07:02) Marco: hahaha
(10:07:36) Marco: I’m two years older than Scarlett?
(10:09:19) Rob: damn skippy
(10:09:27) Rob: we’re old
(10:10:12) Marco: wtf is going on
(10:11:27) Marco: Where we going for lunch dude??
(10:16:06) Rob: i dunno, but i’ll buy you the doritos
(10:16:15) Rob: where do you wanna go?
(10:16:32) Marco: hey that’s nice of you, anywhere would be okay…far from this place.
(10:18:54) Rob: i hear ya
(10:22:12) Rob: sugar tits
(10:22:19) Marco: sugar tits!
(10:22:25) Marco: We should take her along
(10:22:29) Marco: hehe
(10:22:35) Marco: We’ll show her.
(10:22:35) Marco: lol
(10:24:18) Rob: sexy dorito time
(10:24:57) Marco: hahaha sexy time
(10:25:26) Rob: saw children of men last night
(10:25:39) Marco: I saw it two times already
(10:25:44) Rob: shit man, that last tracking shot at the end? unbelievable
(10:25:52) Marco: fucking awesome
(10:25:53) Marco: haha
(10:25:54) Marco: i loved it
(10:26:00) Marco: this was was amazing
(10:26:01) Marco: haha
(10:26:07) Rob: like, half the movie was that tracking shot
(10:26:20) Marco: It looked like Half Life 2 and Metal Gear Solid 4
(10:27:55) Marco: Cuaron is amazing man
(10:28:19) Marco: Dude I told you a thousand times, y tu mama tambien is one of my favorite movies.
(10:29:20) Rob: it’s a great flick
(10:29:26) Rob: michael caine was awesome
(10:29:32) Marco: Jasper!
(10:29:33) Marco: LOL
***SPOILER ALERT!!***
(10:29:34) Rob: i was be a crazy hippie like that when i’m old
(10:29:40) Marco: He was awesome!
(10:29:43) Rob: i want to be i mean
(10:29:53) Marco: I didn’t want Jasper to die dude
(10:29:59) Rob: me neither
(10:30:04) Rob: pull my finger
(10:30:07) Rob: haha awesome
(10:30:09) Marco: hahaha
(10:30:18) Marco: he wasn’t afraid of anything man.
(10:30:46) Marco: You know who was considered for the prego bitch role?
(10:31:25) Marco: Yo digo que el trabajo mas duro de filmmaking, de experience…es assitente de director y productor, fuck that job.
(10:31:35) Marco: wrong message message
(10:31:38) Marco: lol
(10:31:49) Rob: holy shit haha
(10:32:04) Marco: you know who was considered for the prego bitch role?
(10:34:17) Marco: Believe it or not Emma Watson.
(10:37:05) Rob: she doesn’t look like a fugee
(10:38:02) Marco: She doesn’t but they wanted to change the whole concept. But Cuaron said the role was meant for a n*gger. So they kept ther “fugee” concept. I would have loved seeing Emma Watson’s tits…but wtf. The black girl did a fine job.
(10:38:44) Marco: until she said wicked
(10:38:49) Marco: I didn’t like that.
(10:39:17) Marco: “wick-ad” with a little smile.
(10:39:18) Rob: hahah “wicked”
(10:39:28) Marco: That was so 80’s..
(10:39:39) Rob: wicket!
(10:40:00) Marco: “did he really see a ufo?” i saw that coming from a mile away. Closing comic relief from the 80’s
(10:40:11) Marco: those are the only two things that bugged me but shit, they don’t count….
(10:41:27) Marco: It’s also funny how the Gypsy lady survived and they found each other on the other side…fucking Godzilla was out there eating building.
(10:41:28) Marco: s
(10:44:12) Marco: The Nazi were crawing from out of their graves and started raping people, the british army, tanks…and still this Gypsy got through alive with no baby in her hands…oh with the dog of course lol.
(10:47:21) Rob: yeah! the crazy gypsy
(10:47:29) Rob: i thought she kicked the bucket, too
(10:47:59) Marco: haha well she did after those birds came flying and bombed the whole place…well maybe because she was in the sewers.
(10:48:13) Marco: she’s definitely diehard regardless
***SPOILERS ARE DONE!!***
(10:49:54) Marco: I’m want to get the fountain dvd when its out.
(10:50:33) Marco: I seriously, seriously loved The Fountain….haha I don´t know why.
(10:50:42) Rob: yeah i wanna get it too
(10:50:50) Rob: that one i wanna see in the theater though
(10:50:56) Rob: no screeners for this guy
(10:51:49) Marco: haha a very nice release…it was synced off a festival projector. So the quality was amazing…but the sound wasn’t synced off the strack…it was recorded somewhere else, but still good.
(10:52:29) Marco: A lot of people hate it, Alvaro makes fun of The Fountain…people just don’t get it.
(10:52:53) Marco: It’s not as difficult as Donnie Darko or Solaris….but its not for blondes.
(10:57:08) Rob: hmm i see i see
(10:57:12) Rob: i wanna watch
(10:57:32) Marco: You’re going to love it, don’t worry. You’re no house n*gger man
(10:58:30) Marco: But remember, I’m almost sure that Alambrah are the only guys screening the movie.
(10:58:38) Marco: The film failed horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriibly
(10:58:47) Marco: lost millions…
(11:07:40) Rob: yeah i read about that
(11:07:42) Rob: shame
(11:08:24) Marco: I’ll tell you how much Darren lost there…but I’ll surprise you during lunch
(11:09:44) Rob: hahaha alright
(11:09:53) Rob: cockosaurus time
(11:09:56) Marco: HAHAHA
(11:10:02) Marco: COCKOSAURUS TIME!
(11:10:02) Rob: no way does this girl have a bo
(11:10:04) Marco: Dude
(11:10:08) Rob: prolly a turdball
(11:11:23) Marco: dude can you send somebody a text message: Write this in english….number: 6-***-7866 Message: Unfortunately I can’t make it today, have a nice day!
(11:11:58) Marco: – Marco
(11:12:03) Marco: don’t forget the marco tag hehe
(11:12:07) Marco: just to make sure she knows its me
(11:13:26) Rob: this that neris chick?
(11:14:02) Marco: No haha some chick that works at that legal office near the Dorito store.
(11:14:12) Marco: Neris wants to go out this Thursday.
(11:14:53) Marco: I’m going to send you our chat logs man, its hardcore…she’s like, I like sucking on your dick….my boyfriend is big but small where he has to be big.
(11:14:54) Marco: lol
(11:15:13) Rob: hahah whattttttttt?!
(11:15:19) Marco: hahaha she’s hardcore man
(11:15:26) Rob: that doesn’t even make sense
(11:15:36) Marco: she’s odd
(11:15:47) Marco: but nice tits
(11:17:16) Rob: i’ll believe it
(11:17:33) Rob: and the receptionist that wants to marry you?
(11:17:56) Marco: haha i don’t know but she invited to Manolo the other day, bought me a small pizza
(11:18:00) Marco: she showed me a condom
(11:18:05) Marco: haha she carries in her purse
(11:18:34) Marco: she’s like, “i always carry one just in case”….but then her brother calls and says he’s downstairs.
(11:19:00) Rob: THE FUCK, BROTHER
(11:19:01) Marco: but she needs cock,
(11:19:05) Marco: FUCKING BROTHER
(11:19:07) Rob: i wanna know how you do that
(11:19:24) Marco: i tell them i’m a movie producer
(11:19:27) Rob: the cock of coke
(11:19:27) Marco: hahah just kidding
(11:19:39) Rob: unbelievable
(11:20:14) Marco: If I know I’m not going to say the girl again and she’s into guys wit money, I just carry around a large wad of cash and tell her I’m a movie producer haha
(11:20:27) Marco: tell her this apartment is mine.
(11:20:42) Marco: its pink because i had a woman living here for a while
(11:21:51) Marco: bullshit
(11:21:53) Marco: lol
(11:22:03) Rob: hahaha no way
(11:22:23) Rob: it’s true though
(11:22:24) Marco: but I hardly use that.
(11:22:25) Rob: beautiful
(11:22:26) Marco: lol
(11:22:43) Marco: Believe it or not, they call back but asking for money.
(11:22:52) Marco: Women are amazing.
(11:22:58) Rob: ?!
(11:23:19) Marco: Always looking for an easy way out…but I took advantage of her…I have no money…and I fucked her. What is she going to do? Sue me?
(11:24:00) Marco: “Your honor, I wanted to take advantage of this man but he took advantage of me first…”
(11:24:38) Rob: :O
(11:24:50) Rob: haha i’m gonna have to edit this convo for the blog i think
(11:24:56) Marco: lol
(11:24:57) Rob: though you have a good point
(11:25:01) Marco: houseeeeeeee n*gaaaaahh
(11:25:14) Marco: who created yo ass!
(11:25:20) Rob: there’s always something
(11:25:22) Rob: hahah
(11:25:27) Rob: get that bitch off the phone!
(11:25:32) Marco: hello people of Rob-Rivera.com! I’m single and I’m willing to fuck all the women out there!
(11:25:44) Rob: haha that’s going in for sure
(11:26:11) Marco: Donate! www.myspace.com/soundofcreation I’m not a bad guy, this is just a character.
(11:26:19) Marco: Buy viagra
(11:26:27) Marco: Need Pills?
(11:26:38) Marco: I’m taking advantage of your traffic.
(11:27:25) Rob: hahha y’know? I’ve been getting so much viagra spam
(11:27:32) Rob: that and jenna jameson sex, apparently
(11:27:36) Marco: Same here, they’re pissing me off.
(11:27:37) Rob: which is cool, i like her
(11:27:41) Rob: but shit man
(11:27:47) Marco: Comments
(11:28:02) Marco: they leave comments like: You have a point…..but buy pills
(11:28:05) Marco: wtf?!
(11:29:57) Marco: “I thought the HALO 3 TRAILER was a good game…but…maybe you need help with your guy down there…buy some good viagra”
(11:30:40) Marco: “You have a point STOP SPAMMING MY BLOG ASSHOLES was a good movie…now buy pills”
(11:34:00) Rob: yeah really random crap…. buy my pills
(11:34:54) Marco: Are these like bots and shit or are these real people googling around and raping us?
(11:35:02) Marco: with their random comments
(11:35:24) Rob: bots, they’re bots
(11:36:04) Marco: Damn we need to stop these fuckers.
(11:40:49) Marco: hey my mom said we’re going with jade
(11:45:10) Rob: where?
(11:45:12) Rob: huh?
(11:45:33) Marco: Oh Bennigans I think. I don’t know, just for a while though.
(11:45:47) Marco: Then we got to take Jade back home
(11:45:57) Rob: what when? today at night?
(11:46:10) Marco: Nah I think once I get out of here.
(11:46:14) Marco: She said when ever I want really.
(11:48:12) Marco: Oh oh I think my mom canceled, Johanna said no.
(11:53:33) Rob: ugh
(11:54:00) Marco: I know, I’ll call her at 5 and convince her.
(11:54:02) Marco: Who knows.
(11:54:12) Marco: 5 mins more and we’re out of here bro.
Hey, those 5 minutes couldn’t have passed any slower.
Check Out These Related Posts!
- Lunches with Marco:
Hi! It feels good to be back. I hope you had very fun and heartfelt holidays; with this post, I begin what I will mockingly refer to "season 2" of this operatic absurdity I have the nerve to call a life. Thank you for reading, new readers and old... I'll...
- Cupido Must Die! – A Porto Diao Movement:
So, Yamile and I throw a lot of ideas around. A LOT. Hell, a lot of the smaller movements coming down the pipe are products of very wonderful lunches we've had together. In light of the impending Valetine's Day rituals, the lovely geek cooked up a site and I wrote...
- Kevin Smith on “Superman Lives”:
Hello, there. Props go to Marco for finding this little gem: noted writer/director and downright awesome comic book fanboy Kevin Smith talks in a college auditorium about many things, but the clip I want to showcase is a 20-minute talk about how his experience with the new Superman movie ("Superman...
- Benches and the Power to Perceive:
So I was downstairs of my office building waiting for my friend to get her lunch order at the restaurant/convenience store next door. I was sitting on a bench right outside said restaurant, one that overlooked the parking spaces in front of it, the intersection and some random buildings here...