I’ve noticed there are a lot of birthdays in the April - May months of the calendar, and with that of course come the birthday parties. Panamenians party for EVERYTHING, and it’s always usually a big deal, specially for birthdays… whether you want one or not, you’re getting a birthday party. I think that’s fine and dandy, but another element that comes into play here (and ultimately shoots originality right on the foot) is that we’re very laidback, and as a result we’re very lazy. Very lazy. We prefer having our stuff handed to us, we like it when our work is recognized and rewarded (for some it’s the very motivation for working at all) and, in the case of birthdays, sets the precedent for a house party. Or even better, just let the X club of the moment take care of the drinks the music and the mood instead of us, and we’ll just take the party there. Good times, right? Not when it’s the 423,827,549,286,529,752,982,625,295,202,527,503,760,256,256,025th time you’ve done the same fucking thing for 5 years straight for every fucking birthday you can think of. For some reason it doesn’t get old… wait, i DO know the reason, sir. Let’s say you want top mix it up a little, do things differently. Hell, maybe fulfill the birthday person’s actual wishes and do whatever the main star of the show wants to do. Beach? Bowling? Knitting? LAN party? Strippers or whatever the hell that’s different than being stuck in a club and you’ll most likely have a crowd too lazy to want to do some actual effort to have a different birthday experience because, and I see the point clearly, going to a club is just easier to do.

I don’t like wearing shoes. I loathe wearing shoes. I can count the times I’ve gelled my hair with one hand and I can tell you how many times I’ve tucked my shirt in to go ANYWHERE in the last year (that would be two, for those counting at home). Panamenians here, on the contrary, love to dress up. It’s ridiculous, I’ve seen girls in the supermarket at 2 A.M on a Tuesday buying groceries looking like they’re going to a beauty pageant. For men, it’s the same thing: polished shoes with matching belt, dress pants, tucked in shirt and tightly trimmed hair; there’s also the “rad” alternative of white shoes with matching belt, Levi’s knock-offs (usually), a two-color collar shirt and the same hairstyle David Beckham woke up with this morning. This is also embedded to the main purpose of clubs: to get yourself seen. At least that’s the case with the trendy clubs, because just like a vapor film, whatever’s hot now won’t be 3 months from now. My definition of a club is a place where you go have fun and dance, not stand around and drink. Hell, I can do the same shit at home AND in my flip-flops. And don’t even get me STARTED on dating in Panama. Seriously, foreigners: pick up our men and women and get them the fuck away from here. Maybe the culture-blending will make this civilization open up their fucking minds a little and not be so socially retarded, as lovable and undeniably beautiful as we are.

Anyway, back to the point: There’s no originality here. At least not for me, someone who’s lived here all his life. I could go on and on about this, but the reason why I’m ranting is because the fact that I need to pitch an unconventional idea to my friends and have them turn me down just because it’s the comfortable thing to do is frustrating. Specially when I’ve been the type to fight against the norm all of my adult life (whatever “adult life” means). If its not a dumb action movie (I like those two, as I’ve expressed earlier) no one wants to see it. If it’s anything other than clubbing or bar hopping, they’re too lazy for it? A pool? Fuck that, sir. I want a beach! I find it hilarious how I’m 1 hour away from the nearest campable beach and because I want my friends to come with me I haven’t set foot in sand for almost 4 months. I might be maverick and do whatever the hell I want more than half the time but sometimes I’m tied down by stuff like this… it pisses me off, but it also lets me know I have a heart.

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