In a topical shift that no one expected, after getting a pizza I watched the Miss Universe pageant with 2SXC and for some inexplicable reason the topic of nipple shapes came up. I should’ve seen this one coming: working on porn all day, Miss Universe on the tube… so she asked me if I had felt any difference between different types of nipples, from an ethnic standpoint. She asked me what an Asian girl’s nipple looked and felt like, as well as with women of color as opposed to a white girl’s ta-tas (or namely, her nipples). According to legend, she knew a guy years ago who guaranteed that if he was blindfolded and he was given breasts to suck he would be able to tell which etchinicity the woman is just by playing with a nipple for a minute. Using this as a basis she asked me if there was any difference of nipples between the ladies of the different ethnic groups I’ve been with. The question turned out to be a lot trickier for me than I had anticipated. Y’see, it looks like I associate nipples with the whole of the breast, in the sense that I remember the breast but not particularly the nipple. It’s like remembering something because of the sum of its parts and not its whole. For example, I’ve see owl tits, mannequin tits, Halle Berry tits, torpedo tits, banana tits, petite tits and deceiving tits (they look great on a bra, but gravity claims their souls once the clothes are off). I’ve never once catalogued them by ethnicity, or size for that matter.

So, I took a look at my tit memory bank and came up with some answers for her; I couldn’t say much about Asians because the Asian I was with was more American than cheeseburgers and had a ghetto booty, if you could believe it. God, it was glorious, thet bumblebee butt… *ahem* so yes, this girl wasn’t what I could catalogue as an Asian breast since my perception of an Asian breast is banana-like, of a pale white complexion with a huge turd-brown areola and nipple that makes its surrounding landscape erupt but not enough to show a definite nipple… as if the nipple adopted the shape of the breast while it was erect. Now for black women I have a little bit more experience… the experience of 2 whole pairs, bitches. In retrospect they’re drastically different from one another yet they were both great fun. First off there was this pair who were a umm… let’s say a dark brown, but the real kicker were the charcoal black, rock-like nipples with areolas that wrapped themselves all over said mammaries like umbrellas. It was crazy… not particularly attractive from a purely physical sense but you work with what you got. The other pair which came a couple of years afterwards are what I call Halle Berry tits. They were big, round, honey-brown and had cute little round nipples. both of these pairs had very blocky tips too, I recall.

Now, white titties are something I can talk about with a lot more security. And thinking about it I suppose that there has to be more of a variety between Asian and black women just as there are in caucasian women because fucking mierda, I’ve seen some crazy titties before. Now with this porn gig I’m increasingly getting tired of I’ve seen a broader variety of breasts, all of them subjected to sexual acts you cannot even begin to fathom. My soul, in that regard, is doomed to burn in the pits of hell for having to watch them. But whatever, I know that if I were blindfolded and was put in front of a titty lineup I wouldn’t be able to tell ethnicity by simply licking or sucking a nipple at all; I’d just keep trying to figure it out. And trying, and trying and trying and then trying some more. I do know there’a  lot of titty talk in the site though, and I find that somewhat ironic because I consider myself an ass kind of guy. THAT’s something I’d be able to pull off; picking out an ass from a line-up? Damn skippy! I have an ass catalogue in my mind, it’s part of your file. I know it’s a shitty thing to say but It’ been many a time when I look out to the horizon of whatever populace I’m in and I’ll look at a girls ass and if I know her it just clicks: “I’d recognize that ass anywhere.” Does anyone here have anything to say about this nipple thing? Because seriously, I haven’t reached Wilt Chamberlain levels of pussy rate and I don’t think any of us will in our combined lifespans to be able to preach about titties. I like ass, and I love lamp.

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