Rob-Rivera.com

Panama and Delusional Culture

Delirium, sister to Dream in Neil Gaiman’s “Sandman” booksI’ve been called a megalomaniac before. A “pathological egotist.” I wonder why that is, but then again, if I didn’t have to wonder then it wouldn’t make me much of a megalomaniac because they have delusions of grandeur. Keyword here being “delusion.” People who are delusional usually don’t know it because they’re so into their delusional world that they don’t give themselves the time to look at the bigger picture. It seems that being delusional takes a lot of focus, but having focus is a good thing… at least that’s the piece of information that comic books and life itself have passed on to me. Ergo, being focused in completing or seeing something through takes large amounts of delusion. Since delusion is tied with having focus, then it takes a lot of stubbornness to get by. Especially when we’re dealing with people who are so dead-set on accomplishing what they’re focusing on that they won’t listen to anything or anyone else, since being stubborn is an implication that says to me the megalomaniac is that way because he/she is convinced he/she is right. Are we supposed to dismiss someone that’s delusional, even though what they’re so dead-set on might be the right way to go? I sometimes wonder why some people revere great men and women from our past, even though in their time they were considered delusional and were, in cases, killed for it. Einstein, Tesla, Galileo, DaVinci… they all started with a delusional idea and they focused on it until they made it true, until they convinced everyone with their actions that their delusions were not delusional at all. That’s almost as formidable as the ideas they were so delusional about.

I see all of the changes happening around me, both on a personal and a societal level, and I never thought the day would come where I feel that we are finally getting somewhere. Maybe it’s a trait of 3rd World countries to be so pessimistic about their outlook, but at the moment things are happening that make Panama the best country in the region, for better or worse, not just in terms of industry but also in a cultural sense. We’ve still got a long way to go, but we’re so much better than we were 10 years ago. Hell, we’re better now than we were a year ago, and looking around a little I notice that it’s all because some people had the delusion that we, as a country and as a populace, are worthy of more. Another inherent character trait of people who are delusional is that, in order to become the megalomaniac they turn into by proxy, there must be a leap of faith involved. There has to be a moment in this megalomaniac’s life where he says “enough is enough” and takes a leap of faith, no questions asked. Whether his motivations are right or wrong is left to the history books, but leaps of faith come from a belief that something is wrong and, even though no one else is pointing it out, someone has to jump in and do something about it. Just as with changes, leaps of faith are very uncommon; it is my conclusion from personal experience that very few like a change of the status quo. Nobody likes a gamble. Nobody takes leaps of faith. It’s not safe, even though what’s safe is not something that nobody seems to be happy with. Still, they would rather suck it up and live in the situation they are in instead of fighting to change things. It’s too hard to do, though. These types of people are not delusional, and are not prone to making a move unless they can sense something tangible they can fall back on. No gambles, no risks, even though we are all taught from the very beginning of our lives that we have the right to scream, cry and complain when we don’t like something so that we never have to go through it again.

Just like it is when you throw a party and tell everyone you know you’re having it, you always have that smidgeon of hope that whispers in your ear, giving you the delusion that everyone you called will show up. Of course, that’s never the case because everyone is very much into their own lives to remember how much it means for you that they drop by and say “hello.” Everyone is so into their own lives that they forget how they impact others when, going by the birthday principle, it’s all about the birthday boy/girl. Megalomaniacs ignoring other megalomaniacs is a way of looking at it, and it would also explain why there are so few leaps of faith across history, both past and present: it’s so rare these days for someone to go out of his/her way for someone else out of goodwill that others are generally afraid, suspicious and oftentimes expecting a catch. The concept of “the catch” is especially true for the Panamanian, since “the catch” is one of the cornerstones of the “Juega Vivo” or “Me First” culture we’ve become ambassadors of.

Seriously, Panama’s government should have the phrase copyrighted.

The root of all Panamanian society’s ills: the “Juega Vivo” culture. It’s become so inherent of Panama’s identity that to think we can weed it out is considered delusional by many. Why is that, though? Why is a change of attitude so difficult to do? People do that all the time. Being in a relationship with someone is about changing your attitude, and letting someone else lead the charge of that change. Doing something for a friend is also a change of attitude. Doing the right thing, even though doing the wrong thing will let you get ahead faster, is a change of attitude. Why is that the status quo? Why is doing the right thing such a Scarlet Letter nowadays? Just like being delusional will have you turn heads, many will see you as a leper for doing the right thing. Doing the right thing is then a very delusional thing to do.

It takes a very delusional person to believe that our traffic and public transportation systems can be revamped, making them efficient. Delusional people are the ones who believe the Panama Bay can be sanitized to the point of it becoming a public beach. Companies investing millions in us must be delusional to think that our banking systems are amongst the best in the world. There are people so delusional that they think we’re an attractive tourist destination. According to most Panamanians, whoever believes that there are reporters out there in search for the truth is someone that’s delusional. Those who think there is potential for greatness in Panama in terms of art is delusional, and whoever believes that Panamanians can’t come up with a good idea to save their skins is also out of their mind. The truth is, though, that everything stated above is now unraveling before our very eyes.

For many of these non-delusional types, the shit is so thick you can’t run away. They use this as an excuse to stay there, instead of coming up with ways to get themselves out. There is hope, though: as long as there are excitable ones, people who take leaps of faith, are delusional and are, in the end, megalomaniacs of their own ideas, there will always be progress. Be it man, group, community, city, country, continent or planet, to take a chance on them even though they will never take a chance on you is the beginning of all great discoveries.

As for this hardly-coherent stream of consciousness, like all liberating experiences, this too must have an end.

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2 Comments

    Lo que dices es muy cierto, Rob. Buen uso de Dellirium ahi.

  • Delirium*

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