This one hits close to home. Last weekend I summoned a superheroes meet at the Hall of Justice when the subject of gossip was addressed. In short, our resident director and lovable bohemian Smoth found out then and there that people were badmouthing him because of the project he’s trying to give sturdy legs, the sci-fi epic “Sound of Creation.” If you don’t know, his approach to getting funding is the stuff independent film made a name out of: he’s asking for $1 donations from pretty much everyone he sees. The concept is practically flawless: seriously, if you’re reading this right now, chances are your in front of a computer… and if you can afford to at least hit the internet café and log on to read my daily blurbs (thank you very much, by the way!) then you camn cough out a dollar for the project, one which is colossal in magnitude and, compared to the other cinematic endeavors the country has taken onto itself to do, is leaps and bounds greater than anything I’ve ever seen. Now, the phrase that sent Smoth off-kilter was… well, I’ll let Smoth himself say it. From the latest post in Smoth Loves Movies:

A few days ago, a friend of mine came over to work on a few things that had to be done for The Sound of Creation. He immediately started talking about a “gentleman” that asked him about “The Sound of Creation”. My friend was surprised that this person even knew about the project and he pretty much told him things were doing just fine. Sounds like the movie is getting its appropriate buzz but things started getting ugly when this “gentleman” said, “it’s funny that Marco talks bad about Panama and has the balls to ask for donations on top of all that”. I was extremely offended and shocked when I heard this but I decided to let this one slip and keep on walking since it was just one person. Guess what? I was at a meeting with the gang at Porto Diao talking about a few things we’re going to do at Birrea Fest 2006 and one of my friends ended up telling me that somebody from work told him the same exact thing! Which I must add, this person is also a good friend of the gentleman who spoke with my other friend. I have heard this same story from different people and apparently this endless bad mouthing spawns from this same group of gentlemen. Other than this small group of friends, I never hear anything similar to what their saying.

To put it in simple terms, this hasn’t been the first time I’ve heard of a scenario like this and it probably won’t be the last. Panamanians can be rather defeatist at times, even if that backwash mentality seems finally be at it’s last breath. Still, this is a common custom of Panamanian culture: just as there are Honest-to-God people who don’t player hate and support other people’s efforts, there are just as many who will try to stir the shit and bring a brother down. I’ve had this conversation with Smoth many a time, too; there’s always going to be people who will try to bring you down… it’s so much a fact of life I feel somewhat ridiculous I even have to say it. But I’m going to make a specific point for Panama because it’s not the same thing to bring someone down in, say, New York, as it is here and I attribute it to a few determining factors. First of all is the size of our country; for all of the natural disasters we have managed to avoid thanks to our glorious geography the “small town” feel of the capital is certainly limiting, and that handicaps a lot of things in the ways of art and culture: how can it be that Costa Rica, for example… a country double our size but less culturally and monetarily rich than us can have such a huge staple of music, literature, art and many other socially enriching movements when in Panama a literary event where 20 people show up to is considered a massive hit? Nothing new and exciting hits the “mainstream” since Panamanians are quick to label, much like the “chic” crowd you deal with in your hometown. What do i mean by this? Simple: hasn’t it ever happened to you that you meet someone, anyone, and after knowing each other for anywhere between 15 minutes and a week your new “friend” thinks he knows all about you because you fit a certain mold he’s been taught by the TV and other media? You can be a geek (and therefore a virgin), a goth (and therefore worship Satan and Marilyn Manson), bohemian (and therefore are in a constant state of hallucinogenic bliss), emo (therefore gay and with the aching desire to hurt yourself), a pothead (tied closely to bohemians, by the way), a cokehead (usually Chinese), a raver (and therefore love drugs), a “zonian” (people who live in the areas once occupied by the U.S military, usually tied to potheads), a fanatic (therefore you’re a virgin and believe that God is your only savior and everyone else around you is a sinner, therefore going to hell), and the list goes on and on and on and on until exhaustion.

Panamanians tend to act before they think. Nothing wrong with that; in fact, it’s been my M.O for the past 4 years and so far I’m swinging. But you always have to be sure of what you’re doing, and most importantly that whatever it is you’re doing doesn’t end up hurting anyone else due to your… umm, let’s say “lack of vision.” But the Panamanian doesn’t understand the concept: he will shoot his mouth off 100% that his is the unconditional truth and that everyone else is wrong… of course, this makes for great TV since I see this kind of behavior on the news every day and I always have the internal conflict where I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry… It’s simply frustrating how oblivious they are to how ridiculous they sound whenever they talk about whatever their stance is, one informed by biased and/or faulty data that they believe it to be the truth because the person who came up with it is sympathetic to their cause (making it rather pointless when you think about it) and it’s with that same blind conviction and lack of proper research that they go up to the cameras and make complete asses of themselves in public. That’s why I think activist leaders are hypocritical idiots, men with their own agenda but with the lack of intelligence to put their plans of country domination in motion… I have some trivia for you, though what’s the difference between a Panamanian politician and a Panamanian activist leader? Panamanian politicians have more money for their cause.

But I’m going off-topic: The thing about Panama is this that there’s gossip about everyone and a lot of it is stemmed from ill-will… I really don’t know how someone can magically spawn hatred for another and I haven’t experienced it myself (at least not unfounded. my nemesis has yet to reveal himself but I do have enough villains to form a Sinister Six if I wanted… that’s funny, I have clones but no nemesis!) but I can take a stab at it with a couple of theories: it could be that me, as a douchebag who hates on other people, would hate whoever I hate because he has come up with an original idea and it seems to be accepted by the public. Jealousy. It can stem from jealousy. Why is that? Maybe it’s because this hate-bearer sees his focus of attention’s life and in comparison makes his own mundane and worth killing yourself for. Maybe he just wishes he had the same intelligence/imagination/massive balls to be the way he is, when he has small dingleberries for a scrotum. Hell, maybe rainbows spew out of his ass when he takes a dump and thinks of his nemesis while Care Bears and unicorns frolic about in the privacy of his bathroom, a scenario that would definitely be masturbation-worthy for him. Who the hell jerks off to unicorns? A sad individual, that’s who.

Smoth and I, we’ve been raising hell for years. Sometimes I forget what my life was like before I met him. And before you, my fellow Panamanian, start making up gossip about how we pull out “Morty,” our double-headed dildo and give him a go after we record a successful podcast while we listen to the “Titanic” soundtrack, I want you to stop right there and think about this for a second: what do you gain from this? Hell, I’ll open this question up to all of you fine folks out there… what does this person get out of it? Shits and giggles? Hell, for shits and giggles I go watch a movie. I guess it’s flattering how you can have someone else all riled up just because you’re breathing and I take it it’s cool to have people dropping in on what you’re doing in your life (*ahem*) but when you’re picking out every little detail in order to distort and spew it back out as poison then there’s a problem. There’s light at the end of the tunnel, though… and I believe that one of the post’s numerous comments of support sumarizes my sentiment to the T:

Comment by Luis Alberto

September 17, 2006 @ 6:43 pm

hey man.. all i can say… FUCK EM! and i would also like to add some words of wisdoms from DON QUIJOTE DE LA MANCHA…..

“los perros ladran sancho, señal de que avanzamos”

-don quijote

All I can say is that artists and cultural warriors have it rough because they not only have to fight against the injustice that the road taken throws at them, but also the incompetent idiots that lack the berries to take “the road less traveled” and feel compelled to undermine those with more courage than themselves. Typical of a Third World country: Panama will never rise above its imperfections until enough people realize that the only way we’ll truly become the First World country we’re close to being is if we stop hating on each other and unifying for a common goal. Of course, since most of these people are stuck feeling sorry for themselves and trying to pull down everyone they can that’s in their proximity, I think we’re still a few years off. As I’ve said before, though… slowly but surely, we’re getting there and personally I’m not going to let some pamper-soiling dickwad stand in my way. It’s funny how the Panamanian relies a lot in lies he tells himself over and over until he believes them to be true, which in part is the ultimate purpose of gossip, in my opinion; if someone talks lies or intimate details about someone else with the intent to harm and enough people hear the rumor until it becomes true, then what’s the difference to trying to convince yourself that we live in a First World country? My appreciation is that we live in the best and most modern Third World country this side of the planet. A better appreciation of this though is definitely the Bastardizer’s, revealed the very same night Smoth talks about in his post: “Panama is a Second World country.” And what’s a Second World country, Bastardizer?

“Panama!”

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