Rob-Rivera.com

Panamanians and Hobos

In case you didn’t know, I like movies. I like the storytelling medium of moving pictures and, as an avid fan of tales on celluloid, I make it a habit to buy off-the-beaten-track titles I read about on the movie websites I frequently visit, and every so often I’ll make going to the video rental store as a thing I have to do. Panama’s Blockbuster Video retail chain is in surprisingly good health since there is no Netflix to threaten its death grip on the home video viewing public and DVR technology is in its infancy (the only major cable chain in the country provides the service but not even they understand it fully, and DirecTV doesn’t so much as hint that they will provide it anytime soon), giving video rental joints the majority of the video entertainment pie. So, Blockbuster Video is king. Also, they still charge late fees. The bastards.

Out of all the branches I could go to, I naturally choose one of the farther ones from my home. The nearest one is approximately 5 or so minutes away driving, but I took out a membership on the one that’s 15 minutes away. Why, you ask? Well, because my taste in movies is rather peculiar. I like the big summer movies and all, but I don’t like the ones that don’t push for more. I also don’t like stupid movies that make themselves obviously stupid (“White Chicks”) as opposed to stupid movies that are acute and subtle in their stupidity (“Super Troopers”). I’m the guy who makes you see that weird Russian thriller released in 2005, telling you that it’s just like “Spy Game,” but with subtitles. The haven for these (usually) independent films is the Blockbuster Video in Calle 50. Key-K lead me to it, and ever since I took out the membership I rent some of the master works in order to remind myself why I do some of the stuff I do and it’s a fair trade-off. I rent so much that I’m a Gold Member, some bullshit rewards system that works for me because I get free rentals every other week and I’m given an extra day to take them back. And I cherish that extra day, because every time I go back there to drop the movies I’ve rented off, it’s always one of the most awkward experiences I’ve ever had to live through.

The Blockbuster Video in question is on the right end of a small strip plaza that has, in order, a bank, a Pizza Hut and a KFC. It’s always busy for some mysterious reason, and this sort of traffic vortex attracts a homeless-person element that poses a very poignant question of ethics. According to certain reports I’ve managed to find, Panama’s unemployment rate is at 12%. Of course, the Panama Canal Commission hopes that with the Panama Canal expansion they’ll lower that percentage to 6% (roughly 80,000 jobs) from here until the expansion is over in the year 2015. Statements of unemployment eradication by President Martin Torrijos aside, there’s really no excuse for people to not go get a job on the expansion. There’s an open call for every man and woman so that they get trained and put to work because they need all the hands they can get. Having said that, the last time I went to drop off some movies on the mailbox drop-off thing the have I literally had to dodge 3 kids, their “car watchman” dad and some random lady lying on the floor with her hand extended to see if someone dropped her some coins. Now, you’d think that after politely telling the kids that I didn’t want to buy their stickers/air fresheners/pirated movies, telling their dad I don’t need anybody watching my car because I’ll only be there for a grand total of 20 seconds and telling the lady I didn’t have any change for her after she screamed at me for some spare coins that they would get the hint and leave me alone. But no. Of course not. The 10 seconds it takes me to walk back to the car is a play-by-play replica of what happened 10 seconds prior, with the notable exception of their advances being much more forceful. I’ve ran into beggars that camp out at the Blockbuster Video in question that get visibly angry when I turn them down. This could turn into a potential problem for me one day because I am usually the type that stops and engages these people in conversation, individuals that are highly unstable more than half the time. My reasoning for stopping is that if they really have the nerve to walk up to total strangers and ask for change, I want to talk to them to see if they are for real or if they’re going to take my change and waste it all on smoking cheap cocaine. I befriend “car watchmen,” partly because they always have the craziest stories, but I find it hilarious when they try to sell me stuff that remotely resembles weed stuffed in a straw, their bloodshot eyes telling me that I’m in for a bad night if I were to smoke any of that trash. Anyway, I find the ones that get upset when I turn them down particularly amusing, because getting upset kind of defeats the point of begging for money.

Imagine, if you will, being a homeless person standing outside a video rental store that sees a healthy amount of client traffic. It’s a great location to score some free cash, and you already look like shit so all you need to do is extend your hand and hope for the best, correct? How would you do it? I know if I was homeless I would lie down on the floor and extend my foam cup, flicking it a little to call the attention of people who go in and out of the store. That’s a very lazy way of begging. On the other side of the hobo spectrum, I’d have to be pretty fucking shameless to get upset when someone doesn’t give me money out of their own pockets, money he/she surely worked very hard for. A video rental client (or any economically-active citizen, for that matter) has no obligation to give every beggar money, since the concept of begging is intricately tied to the concept of charity. Now, boys and girls, what does charity actually mean?

Charity: A kindly and lenient attitude toward people; an activity or gift that benefits the public at large; a term in Christian theology (one of the three theological virtues), meaning loving kindness towards others; it is held to be the ultimate perfection of the human spirit, because it is said to both glorify and reflect the nature of God. In its most extreme form charity can be self-sacrificial. Charity is one conventional English translation of the Greek term agape.

It’s certainly a commendable character trait, and everyone should be able to give without expecting to receive anything in return. Sometimes you just have to be selfless, because if not then there will never be a true advancement of us as a society… that’s what I believe, personally. Having said that, I screen the people I give free money to, because in a way every time you give a quarter to someone without a home or a job, you’re inadvertedly investing in that person’s future. Not that you own the person or anything of the sort, but that quarter, that dollar, represents an opportunity to change it all around. Now, you might think: “what the hell of a difference is one dollar going to make in that person’s life, Rob? You’re an idiot.” Hey, I say that if you have to ask me that question, then I ask you: why do you even give that person the dollar to begin with?

I want to make sure that dollar will be put to good use. I usually like to at least pretend to buy stuff from them because it encourages them to work, it has them believe a wee bit more in the wonders of commerce. Also, I don’t feel like a total idiot for giving a dollar away when I’m getting something in return, even if they’re shitty stickers I’m never going to stick to anything. Hobos drugged out of their minds begging for money hold up an imaginary sign that reads “Support My Drug Addiction” so they’re out of the question, and the surprisingly huge number of the unemployed population that is disabled hit the streets and bet all their chips on the contempt of others for charity. Why do I hesitate to give these folks money, then?

First, picking all of these people up, giving them shelter, food and a base from where they can fend for themselves is one of the promises the Teleton 20-30 champions. Or at least it’s one of the false promises they have seeded into people’s subconscious, because you can ask any regular Joe (or Jane) what the Telethon is for and they’ll give you a variation of “it’s for the poor children!” Second, and you can see this for yourself if you live in Panama City, dear reader, there’s this one guy on the intersection where Calle 50 and Via Brazil (where the Multimax is, on the corner) that uses the Via Brazil side of traffic to post himself there and ask for money. This guy is, as expected, on the wildest acid trip in history and his shtick is that he has a leg injury, prompting him to use crutches as he cripples his way in between car lanes. It’s 6 PM by the time he gets there to start his thing, so people are tired and they want to go home… I believe this sir depends on people’s short fuse of patience as much as their contempt to score some money. The guy talks to himself in way of song and what he talks about is totally incoherent by regular standards, but that’s not what tilts me. What gets me upset is that this mister can’t make up his mind on which leg is actually crippled, so he jumps and sometimes even walks, holding the crutches to his sides so that no one notices. Fucking ridiculous.

The point I’m trying to make with the above paragraph is that the motives for most people that want to appeal to your sense of charity are hypocritical, false and should make you downright infuriated. You should be mad because these few bad apples ruin it for the other people that could actually use your help, and you deny them that because you feel they will just piss it all away on drugs or booze. I don’t mean to make you feel bad about not giving out your spare change to that lady lying down in front of the Blockbuster, because I don’t give her money, either. I guess that, in the end, the point I’m trying to get across here is that I believe these people should get jobs. The ones that are able, have all of their limbs and somewhat of a brain can get a decent job and stop depending on charity to survive.

The government has supposedly solved the whole unemployment issue so it’s just a matter of showing up to the training centers and getting the knowledge needed to help out with the Panama Canal expansion efforts. Hell, they could sell fruit. The most delicious fruit, envied by most of the world, grows on trees all over our city. A little but of work would go a long way, but you see, that’s the thing… a lot of the hobos I’ve encountered just don’t want to work. The coked-out ones can’t help themselves and they need guidance, but what about that lady lying down in front of the Blockbuster, ruining what should be a painless venture, when she could be selling tacos or hotdogs? Panama is a tourist-centric country (or at least on its way to becoming one) and tourists need people to show them around. I mean, the opportunities are there, but it’s the hand-holding attitude that screws them over.

Many Panamanians rely on other people and entities to solve all of their problems. Hand-holding in its maximum expression. It could be because of our laidback gene, one that overpowers us constantly, that doesn’t allow us to rise up and fend for ourselves. That is why that sometimes I dread going to the Blockbuster Video because these hobos will always be there, and since the violence in the city is erratic, I’m afraid I’ll walk out one night, turn down a hobo asking for money and he’ll try to stab me because I didn’t give him a quarter.

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