More of a universal theme than something that could be honed in solely to Panama, the way people relate to each other is a subject that can (and has) been discussed before, since the very dawn of civilization; you can bet your lucky stars cavemen were having trouble keeping order in their relationships just as much as we do today. There is a special way to the Panamanian, though. A peculiar behavior that I haven’t seen from any of the other myriads of nationalities I’ve had the pleasure to share experiences with on different levels. This is by no means definitive, but I’ll try my best to cover as wide a spectrum as I can.

• The Panamanian as a stranger: Usually very friendly. They’re always willing to help someone in need. It wasn’t until the current generation of schoolchildren that English was introduced as a mandatory language, so wherever you come from please, for the love of Marley, learn some survival Spanish. Help them help you, and you’ll be glad you did. Bartering is tricky, especially if you look like a foreigner, so try to know the local rates of stuff if you can. Nobody likes feeling like the village idiot.
• The Panamanian as a friend: Loyal, always. As it is, you’re bound to find a rotten apple in every batch but if you’re savvy you can definitely spot them without getting food poisoning: in my experience I find that the character to avoid is always in it to swindle, always in the constant hustle… the “Juega Vivo,” if you will. Crazy look in his eyes, most of the time a little too obvious in the way they want to take advantage of you? Greasy hair, sort of sluggish demeanor? There you go. Also, the Panamanian seems to have trouble discerning time; we’re very easygoing most of the time, so take appointment times as more of a guideline than a rule… just don’t feel insulted, because it’s really not our intention.
• The Panamanian as a lover: as much as a lot of us try to clean the stigma, Panamanian men fall into the typical stereotype of the “macho” man. Ladies don’t do shit, men do all the heavy lifting and provide for their women, etc. That’s all fine and dandy, but what people don’t realize is that this is a double-edged sword: all of that heavy lifting and lack of self-sustainability comes with the sole condition that the lady becomes a modern-day slave. For some reason there’s a strong grip to the customs commonly found in the 1950’s, where the so-called “weaker sex” had to stay at home and make sure everything is as “the man” wants it and, in the off chance it’s not, there’s hell to pay and nobody seems to see this as the atrocity it really is.
• The Panamanian as family: Like most Latin-American cultures, Panamanians are intricately tied to their families. To marry a Panamanian is, in a lot of cases, simply taking him/her on lease with a watchful Latino eye lurking over and raiding your fridge every other weekend. I’m 25, and my dad still calls me “little baby” in a little baby voice. My mom quit that a long time ago, but she’s a special case. In any case, having your children stay with you until they get married (even if they’re 40) is not only accepted but encouraged, and even when they do the act of “leaving the nest” is a painstakingly hard one for everyone involved: you get used to hearing family members staying with you just because.
• The Panamanian as a humanitarian: You can’t have a troubled history like the one Panama has and not have a sense of solidarity. If you are one of the lucky majority in the world to have never lived under a dictatorship, then you really have no idea what it’s like. Like I said, I’m 25 and I don’t have first-hand experience of General Omar Torrijos’ dictatorship but from what I hear the guy was stellar and everybody loved him. Who I can tell you about is a man called General Manuel Antonio Noriega. I can also tell you about the time I pissed my pants when I looked out the window the morning of December 21st, 1989 and had a Special Forces soldier wearing a helmet with twigs on it pointing his huge fucking gun straight at my forehead. That’s the sort of thing that makes you want to look after your compatriots, man.
• The Panamanian as an employer/employee: The Panamanian is extremely lenient in his work. Hard worker, and willing to learn. The thing is, the spectrum here varies depending on industry but there are common grounds no matter what sector you find yourself in business with a Panamanian: they highly respect their holidays, and we have a lot of them, and if you fire them for the wrong reasons, then the retaliation will be somehow worse than them killing your first-born from a business sense. Labor laws side heavily in favor of employees, not employers. The lesson here is that if you don’t try to screw a Panamanian over, then you’ll have a loyal worker for as long as he lives.

I’m sure there are more, but I feel like I shouldn’t micro-manage these points. In your experience, what other aspects of the Panamanian are worth noting?

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