Pepsigol Evolution Commercial Poops on Panama National Soccer Team
I’m taking a break from my adventures with one Niko Bellic to chime in on this whole Pepsigol Evolution commercial business. I got the link to the youtube clip below this morning (Thanks, Arturo!) and even though it first seemed as a run-of-the-mill commercial with no outstanding merit, if you stick to it towards the end you’ll realize why it’s fired up many a panamanians’ sentiments against our brother country down south, Argentina. Really, there are no words for it:
It’s hard to make a case in favor of these people when you’re dealing with national sensibilities such as these. In trying to be as unbiased as I can be I must say that, even though we’re not as good as Argentina when it comes to soccer, Panama’s National Soccer Team has come a long way in the past eight years and then some. We’ve come from “awfully shitty” to “better than average” in such a short time, and unlike the past our team looks like they know what they’re doing out there, which is leaps and bounds better than what we had for a team pre-2000. Why is this such a big deal to panamanians, then? I could rationalize that the fact is we Latinamericans are inherently attracted to soccer. It’s part of our culture, sort of like our version of gladiator events back in ancient Rome, sans the lions and killing. We love this game. I think it’s beautiful. So, when we see a “rival” throwing crap at us like howler monkeys, the panamanian spirit doesn’t disappoint. From the comments section of the YouTube page:
lebur26 writes:
Vayanse pa la mismisima pinga boludos hijos de la gran Puta!… traigan a Abbondanzieri, Heinze, Milito, Coloccini, Jonás, Burdisso, Zanetti, Demichelis, Gago, Maxi, Cambiasso, Mascherano, Riquelme, Saviola, Messi, Higuain, Agüero y Tévez!…. a todos les metemos la verga en el culo. Arriba la marea Roja!………. y la Pepsi que se valla pa la pinga tambien, aca tomamos Coca Cola!
I would translate it, but I don’t think it’s worth the time. Needless to say, it’s basically a bunch of pointless insults of an enraged man. He wants Argentina to bring over every major soccer superstar (including some of the best players in the world) because “we will stick our collective cock up their ass to every single one of them.” There’s also a quick jab saying that Panamanians don’t like Pepsi, but Coca Cola. No offense to this mister, but it’s that misguided, blinding rage that solidifies my belief that we come from chimpanzees. I do share the base resentment coming from him and many others, though: that shit is pretty uncalled for. Now, browsing about Panama-Argentinian soccer history, I came across this gem of information provided by yet another YouTube user (info sounds about right):
Panacomposer writes:
Recuerden:
Panamá le ganó a Argentina 4-2 en amistoso Sub 23 boludos. Y PANAMA LE GANO AL RIVER 1 a 0 en partido de exhibición y luego NO QUISIERON HACER EL PARTIDO DE VUELTA EN ARGENTINA por frulo de que se las metiéramos “asha” en BsAs. Por qué no dicen que la promo es más facil que ganarle a Alemania? O que ganarle a INGLATERRA EN LA GUERRA DE LAS FALKLANDS (las que ustedes llaman Malvinas).
So, this kind sir points out that Panama has beaten Argentina in many occasions, in divisions that matter. Why not poke fun at Germany, or England, he asks? I don’t know. The thing is, there’s a pretty good chance that this stupid commercial will hit the national news outlets in the next coming days, because we take our pride that seriously.
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