Rob and Video Rentals
It’s 10PM and after a couple of woes that forced me to cancel my plans to hit the Urbano Hasta La Zapatilla thing at La Casona I was ready to hit the sack when I remembered I had rented “War of the Worlds” and had to return it before they stuck late fees up my ass (yes, our Blockbuster still has late fees. Unlike in the States, Blockbuster Video is still rather popular when it comes to video rentals and I’m not sure how popular NetFlix or any similar endeavour would prove to be given that Panamanians, for the most part, are terrified of the Internet. A shame, because I think NetFlix would be the best thing that ever happened to me if I could just subscribe to the service) so I burn a copy of my Mars Volta CD (on a roll with them fuckers, bitches!) and head on out. This was supposed to be easy. Park the car, get out, slip the DVD in the tray thing, get back in the car and drive away. But no. NOOOOOOoooo… I remember that as I drove into the parking lot I was scouting the inside of the place looking for anyone other than the joint’s staff. The deal breaker would be having to go in there and be the only idiot that rents movies half hour before the place closes, and even though the staff if there to serve the customer and what not I still feel rather bad for them since they have to put up with people’s shit all day and I know that if I was a video rental clerk the last thing I’d want is to have to serve some idiot who rents right before I’m about to close the place.
Another car came in at the same time as me and I can’t believe I’m about to say this but I literally waited to see if this other person was going to enter the premises. One foot out of the car, another on the accelerator… door’s open, “War of the Worlds” in my hand as I stare at the car two spots to my left like a night owl. Waiting.
Then, a revelation: there was someone playing with the Gamecube display they have there. This type of guy never fails; the freeloader who goes to video game shops to score some free game time… and do you know what? That dude was good enough for me! I dropped off the flick and waltzed in the place as if a great weight had been lifted off my back… it was bliss, man. But then the frailty and lack of self-control took over. I was supposed to check if there were any copies of Spike Lee’s “Inside Man,” a movie I missed in the theater and have waited for the chance to watch it on DVD since the stone age. I made a pass through the “new” releases and I saw “Munich” was there. That was another movie I missed while it was in theaters so I stopped, looked, realized there were a million copies available so I took one. Kept walking. Miraculously, “Inside Man” had a few copies available so I took it as well… then, the crown jewel: the reason why I got into this video rental thing in the first place… the Independent Movie section. They have Criterion Collection DVDs! FUCK Y-E-A-H! This time around though, I was in the mood for some Hitchcock (that sounds dirtier, and gayer, than it should) so I took a look at the places roster, which is umm… yes, fucking complete! After much, much debating with myself I decided to rent “Rear Window” and was on my way to the teller. I was thinking my rentals would amount to somewhere around the $10 range (oh yeah, rentals here are around $3 per movie, including the new releases and even the pimped out Criterion DVDs) but, as it turns out, Thursdays is 3 x 2. I almost creamed my pants. I also found out that Wednesdays are 2 x 1 and there’s some other ridiculous offer on Tuesdays that I plan to make sweet love to the first chance I get.
For some reason, every time I go to a video rental joint it’s like I’m a kid in a candy store. I laugh, I shout and I run like a giddy schoolgirl. Hell, the only thing missing would be to have Chuck E. Cheese drop down from the ceiling and give me some candy. There’s just so much great stuff in that Independent Movie section that every time I think about it I feel like I’m gonna cry tears of freedom. The last one I have to turn in is on Monday, and I usually have jack shit to do on Mondays so I’ll probably see myself going back in there and renting more movies I blindly pick out on a whim.
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