I’ve seen that during my short amount of time in the blogosphere (thank you for making this as entertaining as it has been, by the way) I’ve caused kneejerk reactions to several numerous people. The results are always hilarious, and result in much mayhem. So, I come back from lunch after talking to a very disgruntled Marco when a new comment pops into my inbox. Lo and behold, bitches… Rob got himself another anonymous comment!!! Look, quick recap: on Wednesday I went to Butter’s awesome birthday dinner, filled with great people and beer. My perspective that night was somewhat confrontational though since I hadn’t taken my patented beauty sleep beforehand and I get cranky when I don’t get no sleep. Naturally, the results were disastrous, felt like crap most of the night with very specific objectives that threw me out for a loop. Anyway, When I got back from lunch this cryptic comment drops in:

someone Said:

December 22nd, 2006 at 8:21 am

I think you have a really big imagination rob…sad but true

I sat in front of my screen thinking: “Do I smell a smartass?” I thought about it man, because this person/place/thing/idea is saying something that is true: I do, in fact, have a really big imagination. So I was in somewhat of a conundrum: is this not a smartass comment? Is this a compliment? Is someone jerking me around or does someone want to jerk me off? I am le confused. This does not compute. My mind started taking the comment he/she/it/Brain Bug dropped a little personal. If there’s one thing I know about (besides making banana pancakes. Thanks, Jenny!), it’s the written word; considering I usually write my editorials and forget about them and much less read them again, I was compelled to take a closer look and read the thing one more time to see just what in the blue hell warranted such an intriguing comment. My inquisitive mind started machineering. Oh yes, I was going to Nancy Drew the living hell out of this small piece of information…

In the end, my conclusion was that I suck as a detective and he/she/it/Brain Bug will forever be a mystery to both you and I, and quite frankly I’m a little bit disappointed. For an intelligent alien lifeform, the sarcasm in your comment was rather stale and ambigüous. Very “bah, humbug” of you. Shame. There’s one very interesting thing to note about these anonymous comments though, and that’s how on the internet it’s so easy to insult one another when you have the comfortable blanket of anonymity keeping you warm at night. It’s very easy to grab the most generic handle known to man and be a smartass, but the first thing they teach you in Smartass School is to come out and show your face ‘cuz then the comment passes off as a very strange amalgam of back-handed slapping and fellation. I dunno whether to punch you or commence the penetration. This is so confusing.

So confusing in fact that I’m not only having a field day with this comment but I’m also enjoying how much spinning I’m giving it, which is ironically the other thing I can draw out from the editorial I wrote that day (aside from my national-security mandate of sleeping as soon as I get home from work. Believe me that staying up all day like that was not pleasant). One of the downfalls of having the really big imagination Brain Bug pointed out was that I do, in fact, go out of my way rather easily. It’s a fun state of mind to be in, actually… Even though one of the side effects of that is how everyone thinks I have easy access to a plethora of recreational drugs, it’s a small price to pay for the way I look at the world and interpret it. Also shitty? Anonymous commenters. You’d think that there would be somewhat of an honor system in place that would rule over a democratic state of thoughts and opinions where the Internet could live a long and happy life. But no, instead I feel like Sylvester Stallone in “Demolition Man” trying to figure out how to use the fucking seashells. I’m given this thought-provoking simple device that seems so simple but at the same time is so deep and complex, man. I think I’m going to get a tumor from the marathonic thinking process this one compliment/sassy remark has provided for me. Thinking about it a lot further though, I strongly believe that if Brain Bug had just put his/her/it’s own name and told the blogosphere who she/he/it really is then today’s editorial would’ve been “Panamians and Labor.” I reminded myself then and there that my friends and loved ones are what they are because they’re not the type to post anonymously like crazy phantom ninjas, so I have it on good authority that I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes. Here’s to you, Brain Bug. You have a red, fat pussy for a mouth.

If you haven’t heard about this mythical creature then allow me to illustrate, as Magnus would have me hung if I didn’t give a shout-out to one of his favorite movies… “Starship Troopers.” From the Politics in Starship Troopers portion of my Internet lord and saviour:

In his commentary on the DVD edition of the film, director Paul Verhoeven states unambiguously that the movie’s message is “War makes fascists of us all”, and that he sees the movie as a satire of American militarism. On the same commentary, the screenwriter broadly concurs, although he sees the satire as applying to the whole of human history, rather than solely to the U.S.

Since the filmmakers did not make these statements at the time of the film’s release, viewers have interpreted it variously: as a satire, as a celebration of fascism, or as a simple action film.

Satire on militarism

The film depicts a future state that is extremely militaristic and uncompromisingly warlike in its attitude toward a race of bugs that inhabits a distant planetary system. The military training is cruel: officers purposely wound recruits, and flogging is a mode of punishment. Furthermore, the humans fight the bugs with inadequate weaponry and tactics (e.g., the Mobile Infantry and their assault rifles) and by doing so, it feeds the war machine. Also, as Verhoeven mentions in the DVD commentary, the humans are the aggressors and the bugs the victims: when the bugs bomb Buenos Aires, they are not attacking the human race but reacting to human colonists encroaching on bug planets.

Verhoeven’s use of fascist emblems to imply criticism of the Federation may be related to his background. He and some of his crew come from the Netherlands, which endured occupation in World War II. Verhoeven himself never witnessed Nazi atrocities as a child, but his home was close to the German rocket base and was frequently bombed by Allied air forces, hence the pervasive feel of moral equivalence between a victim and a culprit in all his movies, not only in this one.

Complications

Despite its militarism and xenophobia, the society depicted in the film also contains notable differences from fascist ideology, and at times seems more reminiscent of liberal politics. For one, the society depicted in the film is very open about sex, sexuality, and gender roles. In the army, men and women shower together, and appear to feel natural about it: this is reminiscent of college dorms in the 1960s, or at least the way they were portrayed in Playboy magazine. Boys and girls compete more or less equally in high-school sports and are apparently recruited by professional teams with similar equality. Second, humanity’s army consists of soldiers of all races and sexes. The most significant example of this is probably the nomination of Tahat Meru, a black woman, as the new Sky Marshal (i.e. supreme commander of the military), towards the middle of the movie, replacing a white male. Third, military service is not obligatory, and some civilians that have not served in the military are well respected (or, at least, financially successful) as evident by the high-society status of Rico’s parents.

It is often believed that only citizens with military service are allowed to vote; however, the book explains that Federal Service is required to vote, and that there are other options besides the military. The film also explicitly uses the term Federal Service rather than Military Service. Also, if you are in military service, the Federation will pay your university fees, as exemplified by one character who wants to attend Harvard. Another way the fascism of the movie differ is implied in the initial classroom scenes where it is asked what fascism would look like if it were stripped of sexism and racism, implying that such an “improved fascism” is ideal and the form of the Federation.

The expanded role of women in the military is not in Heinlein’s novel: it contrasts starkly with Heinlein’s known views of women. It is not unprecedented in human history–Israel had women soldiers fighting in the front lines in 1948–but it goes farther than any actual army by the time of the film.

For more satisfying reading than my meta remarks on anonymous users that get on my nerves every frickin’ time, please check out this little nilly on Mongolia. A great read, mostly because I’ve never been to Mongolia and I love its capital’s name very much. Also, Chirstmas will be coming in soon… do you have all of your bases covered?

Share This