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Star Ballz

So, I was going to talk about the conflicting feelings I have about friends with a child who are separating, but I’ve been sidetracked by a hentai porn flick we found a few minutes ago. It’s called “Star Ballz.” It is as funny as the title suggests. The movie stars a Sailor Moon looking babes in a Leia outfit sans pants and with ridiculous tits as she runs around the halls of a space ship full of “dick troopers” and a Darth Vader with Mickey Mouse ears and a small dick. This shit is brilliant. Suddenly out of nowhere some dude in a fur suit and Son Gokou from “Dragon Ball” pop up and they all fuck as well. In fact, Sailor Leia fucks anything that moves throughout the movie. I only saw the first 10 or so minutes of the movie and already I’ve seen a mon in the shape of an asshole (if you can imagine it), spaceship fucking, a dude in a Darth Vader suit with mouse ears stroking his smalñl dick and busting all over an unconscious sailor princess in a crotchless Leia suit, “cocktroopers,” a Pikachu-looking R2 unit walking like a drunk alongside an ambigously gay, ass-shaking android and some hardcore cocktrooper threesome action. I think it’s funny as hell… but digging in a little deeper (i.e looking for pics for y’all) I found out that Mr. George Lucas didn’t find this so amusing… via CinemaOnline:

George Lucas made like Darth Vader and called in the lawyers when he heard about “Space Ballz”. Lucasfilm filed a federal lawsuit against Media Market Group on October 26th 2001 in the U.S. District Court of San Fransisco. Lucasfilm claims that the Media Market Group�s X-rated movie “Star Ballz” blatantly rips off his “Star Wars” copyrights. The lawsuit states that viewers could get the wrong impression of “Star Ballz” and think the George Lucas endorses porn flicks. His complaint also claims that “Star Ballz” could bring a negative impact on the sales of “Star Wars” merchandise and premiums such as toys, books and CD-ROMs. I wouldn�t be surprised if the latest in Jedi porn has the whole Darth Vader heavy-breathing thing throughout.

The masterminds of “Star Ballz” claim that the film is just a parody of several movies and not just Lucas� epic space tale. Therefore, it is protected under the First Amendment. If you visit www.starballz.com (I�m not kidding), it is stated that the movie�s premise follows “Wank Solo” who goes on a �behind enemy lines� quest and comes to the rescue of a very horny princess being held hostage in the evil planet of A** Star. Wank is obviously not alone in his quest and is joined by his faithful sidekick “Chewhowie”. Together, they battle with Lord Limbiscuit who is a manly porno version of Darth Vader.

The website also tells viewers to lookout for scenes akin to those of other movies and to also be prepared for a lot of sex. They even acknowledged that they expected to get sued. The company�s representative insists that it is clearly meant for humorous purposes and that the film is also a spoof of movies such as “The Full Monty” and “The Silence Of The Lambs”. Mel Brooks� “Spaceball” may have dodged any legal complications with Lucas but he is fiercely protective of his “Star Wars” baby when it comes to cracking down on “Star Wars” rip-offs.

Unfortunately for Lucas, the Force wasn�t with him. The Jedi mastermind struck out in the first round of its legal battle with the porn makers. Looks like he isn�t that strong a Jedi after all. A federal judge in San Fransisco decided against blocking the sale of the animated saga that tells the story of Wank Solo. This clears the way for “Starballz” creator, Media Market Group to resume the selling of the $14.95 video online (parents please take note that the sale of the porn parody of “Star Wars” is online).

Things looked good for Lucasfilm…at first. The court granted a temporary restraining order that prevented further manufacture, sale or distribution of “Starballz” and its merchandise until the U.S. District Court Judge had a chance to review the case. The verdict came on January 8th this year and the conclusion was that there was “little likelihood of confusion”. She decided to let “Starballz” continue its distribution while still waiting for a trial. According to the judge, “The “Star Wars” films are so famous that it is extremely unlikely that consumers would believe that “Starballz” is associated with “Star Wars” or Lucasfilm.”

The movie’s dated 2000, and it shows. It looks like those cheaply-made Anime knockoffs Americans plucked out during the “Pokémon” craze but fucking mierda if this isn’t entertaining. I think we’re watching some more after lunch. Anyway, if you’re interested in purchasing “Star Ballz” or at least would like to know more about it, you can purchase it from Amazon for $19.95 and take note that you can purchase the movie with “Sailor and the 7 Ballz” for under $40! Awesome! Finally, a review via Animetric.

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