And then, there’s Ricardo Martinelli. All I know from the guy is that he ran for president in the last panamanian elections where Martin Torrijos won in a landslide victory, he owns one of the bigger supermarket chains in the country (Super99) and, according to my deranged father, is a certified schizofrenic. The latter, I’m willing to believe judging from the times I’ve seen him on TV but it doesn’t diminish my opinion of the guy; in fact, considering that in the big race for the presidency, the hopefuls I was presented with so that I could give one of them my vote were all fucked up in some way, shape or form: Martin Torrijos was a puppet powered by nostalgia for the only nice dictator Panama’s ever had, Guillermo Endara was a clown and he already took office once a long time ago, Martinelli was a schizo and the rest were insignificant because I don’t remember who they were at this moment. Still, out of all of them, it was Martinelli that seemed like the best choice to take over, so I gave him my vote. Sadly, everyone else in the country was overcomed by the notion of him being a loon rather than president and, well, the rest is history.

Now he’s on Facebook, wanting to be my friend.

I’m not of one singular political party (in fact, I’m more in tune with being a libertarian but that’s neither here nor there) rather than I am all for the best man/woman for the job, so I don’t like to get into political discussions because they get as nasty as the discussions I have whenever some moron waltzes in here and calls me a “gringo” (like it was an insult, which is even sadder) because I call my countrymen out on their shit. I’m not even North-American. I’m a Latin Lover with geek cred. Whatever. Getting out of the full-of-myself snark, it seems that this politician/businessman wants to be my friend and I’ve had the browser tab open all morning trying to figure out what this guy’s intentions are. Does he really want to be my friend, I wonder? Is he lonely? Does he want some comfort? I think I’m the last guy to ask comfort for, because I’m like Dolemite, shooting out torpedos out my mouth left and right. Then I wonder “hell, he probably heard of the Zombie Walk and he wants to, well… walk.”

I tried looking for videos on the subject but came up empty: during his presidential campaign, he was known as a man who “walks in the shoes of the people,” in reality a series of commercials that showed him shoveling, building homes and pretty much getting down and dirty with the working class. It was a pretty commendable campaign, certainly original but it quickly derailed into mockery. Fact of the matter is, this guy is going at it from all angles to get the bigger demographics of people living in Panama today: the working class and youngsters. This last one leads me to Facebook, and the predicament at hand. I walked into his profile page to further investigate and I read the following message in ALL CAPS, which I hate because I see those fucking messages pop up at the AlmanaqueAzul.org comments all the time and I’m the dork that has to “de-cap” everything:

HOLA A TODOS, AHORA COMO NO PUEDO TENER MAS AMISTADES POR TENER 5000 PERSONAS EN MI PRIMER FACEBOOK
SE PUEDE SER AMIGO MIO TAMBIEN EN RICARDO ALBERTO MARTINELLI
ESTE ES UN NUEVO FACEBOOK PARA PODER ACOMODAR MAS AMISTADES!
SALUDOS,
RICARDO MARTINELLI

What that reads, dear non-Spanish-speaking reader, is that he had a previous profile page and had too many friends. So many friends, in fact, that he couldn’t have any more. According to facebook, no other person in the known world can have more than 5,000 friends at a time, so Rick over here decided to open another profile to accomodate more friends. If I accept to be in his troupe, that would make me a second-wave friend. Ricardo Martinelli has too many friends. Let it sink for a minute.

Apparently he’s one of the two Panamanian polliticians lurking around Facebook (as TuPolitica.com tells me, current Panama City mayor and presidential hopeful Juan Carlos Navarro being Player 2. He doesn’t have as many friends) and he wants to be acquainted with the potty-mouthed writer. Well, Porto Diao could use finantial backing. Look, that’s the thing about associating yourself with politicians: for some societal reason I fail to comprehend, working or being remotely related to a politician somehow adheres you to their cause and you’ll be shunned by your peers if you don’t bask in it… much like religion. Oh, dear Marley, I know people that are active cells of youth Christian movement Generacion Sin Limite that are cool folks and all, but I went to their latest attempt to attract lost souls (a rock concert called Rock En Tu Calle, on its third edition) and it was such a blatant display of hipocrisy I felt like I was in enemy territory the whole time I was there. We produced a BFTV about it, so check it out when you have the time to see how much of a joke it is. The inititiave is great and, just like politics, a necessary evil every society needs in order to keep some degree of order. Still, what about me? What about the guy who would rather believe in 1 person doing things right rather than someone representing a political agenda?

As likeable as the guy may be, and he seems to be a hoot to talk if only for the constant nervous ticks and bloodshot eyes, I’m not quite sure I want to associate myself to this guy. Hell, I like Navarro too but you don’t see me doing a digital dash to add him as my friend. I think I’ll add myself to his potentially bogus Facebook experiment to connect with me. You can never trust politicians, but this guy was a businessman first, so it can’t be THAT bad… right?

Yes, I have given this some thought before. I identify so much with the message here it’s borderline disgusting and shameful, but the lyrics are not the only reasons why I love the song so much: the music itself has every instrument that creates it at its best, always on point and with a controlled atomic energy that’s impossible to deny or be moved by it. The link to the mp3 is here, and below is a live version of the song… please enjoy.

Lyrics

Today seems like a good day to burn a bridge or two
The one with old wood creaking that would burn away right on cue
I try to be not like that but some people really suck
Some people need to get the axing chalk it up to bad luck

I know a drugstore cowgirl so afraid of getting bored
She’s always running from something so many things ignored
I might do that stuff if it didn’t make me feel like shit
I’m on some old reality tip so many trips in it

Beautiful disaster
Flyin’ down the street again
I tried to keep up
You wore me out and left me ate up
Now I wish you all the luck
You’re a butterfly in the wind without a care
A pretty train crash to me and I can’t care
I do I don’t whatever

I know a drugstore cowgirl so afraid of getting bored
She’s always running from something so many things ignored
I try to be not like this but I thought it’d make a good song
There’s nothing to see shows over people just move along

Beautiful disaster
Flyin’ down the street again
I tried to keep up
You wore me out and left me ate up
Now I wish you all the luck
You’re a butterfly in the wind without a care
A pretty train crash to me and I can’t care
I do I don’t whatever