Believe me when I tell you I can write an encyclopedia on the subject of “chasing pussy” not because I’ve done a lot of it, but because I like to study people. It’s somewhat of a way to entertain my mind with instead of just turning it off when need be. Since I live in a Latin American country [...]
To put it in lamest terms, lately I’ve found myself with an acute lack of inspiration to write anything worth reading. Looking back at it, I could attribute this resignation with being tired from taking care of Porto and all the wonderful things he does, or recent work troubles, or somewhat personal issues; maybe it’s all of the above. Of course, since it’s in my nature as a writer to be an observer of human behavior, I find myself more interested in how other people’s actions (or lack thereof) affect me. If you’re looking for an informative piece on Panama or Panamanians and how they operate, I guess you’ll find something worth taking with you in this piece. If you want to read the musings of a jaded columnist with some snark and hilariously bitter social commentary, you’ll get a kick out of this joint. If you’re looking for news, get the fuck out of my porch.
There’s not much to tell right now because I just recently became aware of this by way of my friend Antonio, but I had to post this and help spread the word: there is a man named Michael Morales and he recently took a 2-month leave of absence from his job to go out and climb Mount Everest. That is impressive in and of itself, but for our great delight he’s updating friends, family and anyone who stumbles upon his story via a blog called Panama – Everest 2009.
With more than a million foreigners coming to Panama in 2008 and a trend that indicates we’re far from seeing the peak of visitor influx, you’d think that Panama’s immigration office would be up to the task to receive and process every single foreigner in the country. After having recently visited the main office I’m happy to report that the old addendum about government entities continues to jam its rusty blade into the annals of our society: the Panamanian Immigration Office is a clusterfuck quagmire of fairy tale insanity, the sort of unique mess that is not fantastical in its matter-of-factness but it boggles my feeble mind nonetheless.
Hello, boys and girls. So, it would seem that both me and the cats at Porto Diao took an improvised sabbatical of sorts during the month of January. We went out, lived, loved, got into great adventures, got drunk, got high, got depressed, got delirious, people came and went, some for good, others, for a little while, others got together forever in the sanctity of marriage, people grew apart, people came together, others still are.
The 3rd season of Latin American Idol ended Thursday night and in a barely surprising turn of events, Panamanian contestant Margarita Henriquez defeated Costa Rican Maria José Castillo thanks to the votes via chat messages from people in Panama and all of Latin America. Panama’s odds of winning were good from the start, with 3 Panamanians present out of the 10 finalists; Margarita has pipes and in the last three months she, surely with the help of vocal coaches and some of the most renowned Spanish-speaking performers in the world, has fine-tuned her instrument into a lethal weapon of song. She deserved to win the contest, and I’m glad that Latin America agreed with the notion. As black-and-white as Margarita’s indisputable win is though, what is truly fascinating is what she has managed to inspire in just a few short weeks simply by the raw power of her presence in LAI: Panama, as a whole, came together for a common goal in such a way that the I can only compare it to how a country deals with acts of war. In many ways (but by no means in the same scale), Margarita’s presence and win in Latin American Idol brought a country together in the same manner that 9/11 brought the U.S. to unity.
More of a universal theme than something that could be honed in solely to Panama, the way people relate to each other is a subject that can (and has) been discussed before, since the very dawn of civilization; you can bet your lucky stars cavemen were having trouble keeping order in their relationships just as much as we do today. There is a special way to the Panamanian, though. A peculiar behavior that I haven’t seen from any of the other myriads of nationalities I’ve had the pleasure to share experiences with on different levels. This is by no means definitive, but I’ll try my best to cover as wide a spectrum as I can.
In the past couple of weeks, just for kicks, I talked about this with a couple of friends and loved ones, every conversation degrading into a discussion on what would the rates be for a “happy ending.” I’m not going to talk about the amount of time my mom was able to mine the hell out of this joke (answer: three days) and much less how far she went (hint: Gorilla Mask, anyone?), but it’s safe to say that everyone I talked to had a field day with the name of the company and their imaginations flew so, so far.
This is the set-up: a man that’s known both online and off as Rob Rivera is lying down in bed thinking about the things people like Rob Rivera think about when they’re lying in bed (answer: chocolate) perusing the TV channels of his basic cable service. Mind you, my TV set has been busted for months.
Irving Jahir Saladino Aranda, or “El Canguro” (Kangaroo for you kids playing at home), made history as he became the first Panamanian in Olympic Games history to win the gold medal in any discipline. As it almost always is with anything that could, in an off-chance, bring us closer to the pantheons of glory, his road to the gold medal was not without its hiccups and controversy; still, I’m relieved that none of it could taint the incredible victory this man brought for Panama as a country. It was really a sight to behold, and in the eyes of the world we’ll come off as a nation that’s proud of its athletes. Now, on to the goings-on behind the scenes that every Panamanian knows (or should know) about just as everyone out there interested in this feat should in the interest of explaining exactly why this is such an important landmark in our nation’s history.
I used to go out with a girl who, even though she looked like those poster girls who are all looks and no brains, is a real gem to be with. My time with her showed me, though, that Panama’s clubbing culture is as shallow as Lorenzo Lamas. This girl is beautiful, the sort of [...]
I’m taking a break from my adventures with one Niko Bellic to chime in on this whole Pepsigol Evolution commercial business. I got the link to the youtube clip below this morning (Thanks, Arturo!) and even though it first seemed as a run-of-the-mill commercial with no outstanding merit, if you stick to it towards the [...]
In case you didn’t know, I like movies. I like the storytelling medium of moving pictures and, as an avid fan of tales on celluloid, I make it a habit to buy off-the-beaten-track titles I read about on the movie websites I frequently visit, and every so often I’ll make going to the video rental [...]
I’ve been called a megalomaniac before. A “pathological egotist.” I wonder why that is, but then again, if I didn’t have to wonder then it wouldn’t make me much of a megalomaniac because they have delusions of grandeur. Keyword here being “delusion.” People who are delusional usually don’t know it because they’re so into their [...]
It was Sunday night, and we were lounging about after a boxload of pizza and oversized drinks. We were waiting for 10:30 to come since that would be the moment we could walk into the dark movie theater and check out the latest exploits of detective John McClane in “Live Free or Die Hard.” The [...]