The Cholo Metal
Have you ever had the distinct pleasure of sharing physical space with a “Cholo Metal?” At first I thought the term was solely a Panamanian thing but after asking Google about it I realized it was a misconception; this rare animal can still be found throughout America (the continent, dear reader. Having the need to clarify this is a little disheartening), and even though it seems to be an endangered species, surely a victim of the more-prominent “Emo” sub-species, you can still find them rocking hearty at metal cover gigs everywhere.
If you think I’m pulling this out of my ass, then allow me to show some insight into the Cholo Metal: first we have the “cholo.” From my research (if you could call it that), the North American definition for it, as it is with many other instances of North Americans making gross generalizations of other races, is quite different that it is for the rest of us, south of their border. A “cholo” to the “gringo” is every Latino thug. Correct me if I’m wrong, but when I googled “cholo metal” all the instances of “cholo” would lead me to some silly Cypress Hill, Crip-looking dude holding a gun and praising the altar of Daddy Yankee (the Latin American version of Jay Z if there ever is one). For the rest of us, a “cholo” is a person with direct roots to the original native of these lands, before the crazy crossbreeding started occurring with Europeans centuries ago. Indigenous physical traits are dominant, and many of them can speak their tribe’s language.
As it is when the modern world is tossed into the mix and for fear of me sounding like an even bigger ignoramus, when the “cholo” comes to the city, he picks up plenty societal traits. It’ll happen to anyone who dips him/herself into another culture, and should not be surprising. What is surprising, then, is how sometimes the combination that emerges from these sociocultural couplings is downright bizarre… enter the “Cholo Metal” (Cholo + Death Metal = Cholo Metal).
Judging from my purely anecdotal and biased evidence, the Cholo Metal is a indigenous person living in the city who wears his love for Death Metal like a badge of honor. The template rarely deviates from the established mold of the standard metal head: long hair, a penchant for black clothes and gear (gotta have spikes), and a worn-out t-shirt of either Metallica, Pantera, et al. Torn up jeans are a nice touch, and military boots are encouraged. Now, the clothes don’t have much to do with it; you aren’t what you wear. The real magic is with the Cholo Metal’s behavior. Always on edge, like he’s a Red Bull/coke line away from having a stroke, the Cholo Metal truly comes alive once he hears the commanding sounds of the double pedal. You have not experienced a true mosh pit until a Cholo Metal gets in the mix. It’s like trippin’ on Jimi Hendrix, but ten times more violent. It truly is a sight to behold. Their rationale is also rather askew; getting into a mosh pit and beating every man, woman and child that stands on his metaloid trajectory is all well and good, but when he meets an opposing force that stops him dead on his tracks, he takes great offense in this. I have seen my fair share of fights break out at concerts because of something as macho (also, retarded) as this, and it’s hilarious. Ever seen a coked-out stripper fighting people as the security guard drags her out back? You should. That’s funny, too. But not as funny as a coked out Cholo Metal trying to stand his ground in a fight. They engage in some sort of rustic drunken fighting technique that, even if it is sloppier than the real thing, it’s proven to be just as effective.
It’s been years since I’ve seen one, and like many other things that people remember out of nowhere, there is no photographic evidence of their existence. Simply stories. I don’t go to underground rock bars like I used to, so I don’t know what the status of this particular breed of person is, but I sure don’t see them walking around like I used to; they do so as if they were an inch away from punching someone in the face. I think that they’ve been overcomed by the current pop culture rock stable, the Emo kids. How that happened is beyond me, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the Cholo Metal is that he rocks hard, and dies hard. He survived Glam Rock. he survived Grunge Rock. He survived the Pop Bands. He shall survive the Emo movement.
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