A joint geekgasm between Geekvoice and Porto Diao, last Saturday we gathered up a few of our peers and got together at the Church of Yau for some balls-to-the-wall Wii-ing. Butter managed to provide a projector where we could play with the highest boner-inducing display possible and between Mopx, Lucho, and Ed we had 4 Wii remotes to duke it out with some drunken Wii Sports. I know I bitch and moan about my country a lot but this will be one of the rare ocassions where I have to say that I’m happy to be here and I will tell you why: I think this is the only place on Earth where I can get a case of beer (24 bottles) for 5 bucks. $5 frickin’ dollars and I’ve covered beers for at least 3 people… in the case of Wii night, everyone in attendance. We also pulled out a BBQ grill and did some burgers as well as, ironically, sausages for hot dogs. The homoerotic tension was palpable. After setting some unspoken ground rules such as terminology (the remote would be “wii-mote,” the sausages would be “wii-ners,” all references to “penis” would be limited to “wii-wii’s” and so on and so forth) and other pertinent points we started playing; it was my first time playing with a Wii, so I was nervous. I wanted it to be just right, and I didn’t want to feel disappointed afterwards since everybody has been telling me how awesome it feels while doing it and I feared that everyone was making it a bigger deal than it actually was; didn’t think about it much, so with reservations I went at it… I didn’t know how to use it at first but with practice I got a hang of the thing and got quite good at using it. God, this is so gay.

The games of choice were Tennis, Bowling and Boxing in that same order in terms of popularity. Wii Tennis was a big winner (now I can’t say or write anything with a “wi” in it without giggling) since it seems it’s the only game on the lineup where all four controllers could be used simultaneously. The first thing I noticed is how easy it is to get a hang of the controls; it might look a little intimidating at first but once you’re in it then you’re on easy street, figuring out the preciseness and motions of the Wii remote rather quickly; for example, the first game I tried out was Wii Tennis and I was horrible in my first try… the next time I picked the controller up though, Magnus and I had an 8-game winning streak stopped only by our wanting to play something else. In case you’ve been living under a rock or just haven’t gotten acquainted with this marvelous piece of modern technology, when you create your profile it is represented by a customized character you create, called a “Mii.” It’s stored in your Wii Remote for cases like these where you go to a friend’s house and play… they’re cute as hell, the little bastards, and in a way they fuel the fire for people whole want more serious/bloody fare (tendency goes towards the Sony/PS3 crowd). There’s a lot of plans for these little dudes, specially considering that there’s a “Sims” game coming out using them. Can you imagine the possibilities? Specially with the Wii remote? Lemme put it in perspective if you haven’t brought yourself to try the console yet: Wii Bowling is probably the best example on how intuitive and responsive the Wii Remote is. You can determine the spot and angle your Mii throws the ball from but in the end it’s all about how you throw it… which is exactly like you would in real life. You have to determine the force of your throw as well as angle; flick your arm for the ball to roll and achieve an angle shot. Baseball is also very intuitive, determined by strongly you swing and at what angle you’re holding the remote.

My favorite out of the whole bunch though has got to be Wii Tennis, since it’s the only one where I could really see how amazing and full of promise the console is… there we were, 4 people in different spots of the room playing this silly-ass game and having so much fun it was ridiculous. One of the people who came over is the type of gamer that likes his stuff serious and bloody, which is totally not what Nintendo’s trying to do with its first party games so I was interested in seeing how the inclusion of the remote would affect his perception of the thing… I was surprised to see how he was as in on the action as everyone while we played in the green. That’s really cool… it seems that when you’re actually doing the motions instead of button-smashing the immersion is that much more interesting and the key to that rests solely on the Wii-remote… and you know it works when people are jumping to serve in Wii Tennis and dodging blows in Wii Boxing. Before I leave the tennis game, though, I wanted to point out why it was my favorite of all the games within Wii Sports, if I may.

The controls are ridiculously precise and intuitive. “Immersion” is the name of the game here, and in that front the Wii has it in spades; the small speaker within the remote plays out sound effects for swinging and successful hits, which are the little things that make the console that much more fun. It’s also important to mention just how many variations of swinging you can make while playing. You serve by doing the same motion you would in a regular game and the swings themselves are determined by what I can only explain as an X-and-Y axis principle; swing to the left and the Mii will swing that way, as well as to the right if that’s the case. You can also do overhead swings, and depending on your timing and how strongly you swing will determine the direction and force of the ball. Making the Miis run on their own so your only focus is that of swinging in time is a stroke of genius since it gives the game a much more arcade-y feel that in the end is what it felt like overall with all of the games in Wii Sports… really simple and fun games. You can tell after looking into it a little how the game is just a jumping-off point for players to be familiar with the Wii Remote but in a subtle manner, much like Mr. Miyagi’s training exercises.

All in all, the Wii accomplished in my mind what it wanted to transmit; I totally see my mom and I playing Wii Tennis, for example… and mind you that my mom has never sat down to play video games with me. Last time my dad played a game with me, it was the silver age/arguably the best age of video gaming (the Super Nintendo/Sega Genesis era, silly) and he got pissed because I kept beating him in “Street Fighter II.” I see myself playing with my parents and them actually liking it… an impossible feat that now seems to be that much closer to reality than it has ever been. Everything about it is just so appealing and user-friendly, finely tuned so that anyone and everyone can pick up the controller and within minutes get a total hang of it… and the launch titles hold so much promise in what can be done with the console; like Lucho said that night, it’s just a matter of time when a developer finally taps into what the Wii can truly do that the competition will seriously take notice. The system holds so much promise. The question of whether or not Nintendo could pull something like this off has been answered with a definitive yes; now it’s a matter of seeing which developer will unleash the system’s potential… I believe that the key to this system’s unquestioned success will be solely in the hands of third-party developers and their ability to use the Wii remote in new, inovative ways. Right now there’s simply not one thing that the Wii remote can’t do… what’s frustrating is how games aren’t taking advantage of that! Of course, the system’s only been out for a week or two so it’s too early to tell, but if “The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess” is being regarded as not only the best Zelda game of the series but also one of the best games in the past decade (high praise, considering “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” is within that timeframe) with everything and the new gaming interface, then that’s something to look out for.

As long as third party games keep coming with games that are great, original and inovative (qualities that the Wii requires from the developers by default, given by the Wii remote) as well as in a steady flow, Nintendo’s newest console should prove the haters wrong quite easily. Of course, nobody knows the console better than Nintendo does, and true evidence of this seems to be “Metroid: Prime 3.” Doing things with the remote other than shooting, which is something that the console was born to do, is little things like opening doors and lockers, picking up things, punching, and so many other things that make the Wii such an exciting entry in the console wars. It’s a great time to be a gamer right about now. The only thing missing for the Wii is that they port “Viva Piñata” over to the console (pipe dream, I know…) since it’s such a Nintendo-type of game filled with so much innuendo and adult themes it’s ridiculous… kind of like the Pixar movie of video games.

It truly was cool to see live what the guys at Nintendo kept saying they wanted their console to be; a reason to get together and have fun. The Wii brings to the table something that I don’t think any other gaming platform out there can give and personally I haven’t been excited over a console like this since the SNES days… and I’m glad to see that I wasn’t the only one.

Butter (waiting for his turn at Wii Bowling): “Rob…”

Rob (watching the game, waiting for my turn as well): “Yeah!”

Butter: “Y’know what’s cool?”

Rob: “What?”

Butter: “I think it’s awesome that I can play with one hand and drink with the other, while I’m playing.”

Rob (looking at his hands and seeing that he has a Wii Remote on his right hand, a beer on his left): “Holy shit, you’re right.”

Butter: “Fucking awesome!”

Rob: “Fuck yeah!!”

Butter: “I can drink beer with one hand and play video games with the other… awesome.”

Rob: “Amazing…”

Butter: “And you can quote me on that.”

Rob: “Done!”

A moment of silence happens as we both ponder on the dairy product’s realization.

Butter: “And you can quote me on me quoting that.”

Rob: “Done!”

The Wii session started at 10:30PM and ended at around 2:30AM. I’m looking forward to the next one with fury in my eyes. Hopefully more people will want to come along, specially of the non-gamer crowd because I think there’s nothing that’s going to be as interesting as seeing people who aren’t into video games as we are have a total blast with Nintendo’s miracle console. Seriously, there’s something about seeing someone punch in the air like an idiot that looks thoroughly entertaining. Suddenly you’re the idiot swinging the air around you and you couldn’t be having more fun than the one you’re having right then and there. Oh, and “Zelda?” We must’ve seen about 15 minutes of the game (more or less) and I already wanted to play for hours… seeing Epona again was awesome.

Final verdict: The Wii is tits.

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